This week, while cleaning out old files, these words fell to the ground. Picking them up and glancing over them, I elevated them from floor to score one for a still vital lesson. The prose was from years ago, but it defines present day needed wisdom, too. Thus, I decided to take a stroll down memory lane and re-share what I penned a quarter of a century ago.
Once again, the dreaded countdown had begun. Moms around the world know the scene. Yep, it’s the moment when with keys in the hand, and kids out of hand, you realize you and the troops must be out of the garage in 10 (no 9!!) seconds in order to get to school before the bell rings — the tardy bell, that is!! To my own shame, the fact is this morning’s countdown was not atypical but “A TYPICAL” ready for blast off experience. That was until I underwent a lift off that parted the clouds and revealed a glimpse of heaven. May I share this uplifting take off?
Somewhere amongst whacking my head on the coffee table, while looking for where “I” left Beamer’s shoes, collecting Brooke’s breakfast for carryout, locating Brittany’s retainer, corralling three dogs and a cat from outside, and trying to keep my stack from smokin’ while informing a phone solicitor it’s no courtesy to call at 8:17 A.M. asking to sweep my chimney, this mom’s frazzled brain was struck by a bolt of wisdom. This enlightening encounter changed the course of my day and, hopefully, many more to come. A new era of calculating answers to life’s dilemmas had begun.
While racing to the car, instead of the backpack, lunch box, soccer ball, gym shoes checklist my kids usually heard me yelling, a new and revolutionary proclamation filled their ears and fears. Commandeering my troops into the van, I dogmatically decreed mommy had figured out what was wrong with the world, education and, even, our family. What’s more mommy was fed up, and we were going to fix it starting now. Nine-year-old Britt gasped, “Mom, you mean we’re going to have to add EVEN MORE WORK to our list?”. My reply articulated, “Nope, less”.
In straight forward, elementary language, I calculated the problem with the world, education and families is that the point from which all evolves, and revolves, is addition and multiplication. It should be subtraction and division. Think about it. What factors are indelibly embedded as the crux of education? No student is ever introduced to subtraction or division before first mastering addition and multiplication. Scholastic theory is if a child masters addition and multiplication, he’ll naturally be able to understand subtraction and division. In my view, this perspective is backward.
If life adds up to being wrapped up in multiplying MORE, TIMES MORE, TIMES MORE, the product is never being happy, or fulfilled, because YOU are God’s very special ONE. Shouldn’t the oneness of each of us be the greatest of all our worth and wealth? Our lives are being destroyed by needing to have more. This leads to the lump sum of even if we have everything, no matter how great it is, it doesn’t add up to being enough. In the world no accomplishment, amount of credit cards or, pathetically speaking, number of bills seems to be enough — let alone too much. In American education, even 100% isn’t good enough anymore. We indoctrinate our children that extra credit is the only way to score. In the family, 2 cars, 3 square meals, 4 bedrooms and a 5-day work week don’t even add up to self-esteem or happiness. The world, education and families are ruled by the uncontrollable need to add, add, add and followed by multiply, multiply multiply.
Forget addition. Forget multiplication. Let’s start subtracting. Let’s start dividing. After all, what have we to lose except astronomical stress, inflated egos, over-rated materialism and no time to thank God and enjoy what we already possess.
Since I’ve been brazened enough to criticize the add ’em up and multiply principle, I guess I should, also, put forth mathematical theories in defense of my subtraction and divide postulate. So be it; here are my equations for “Figuring Out What Really Counts”– The world minus social status equals contentment. Education minus the urge to over push equals wisdom. Families minus materialism equals togetherness. Self- respect and self-esteem divided amongst all in the world equals peace. Knowledge divided into basics equals intelligence. People divided into God-centered Families equals Faith, Hope and Love.
My bottom-line equals I choose that subtract and divide will now rule my family’s life. We’re subtracting the stress of trying to accomplish too much. We’re dividing each day into a time to feel blessed, a time to play, a time to laugh, a time to do NOTHING and, most importantly, time to pray. Could one really want more or settle for less?
Today, a quarter of a century later, I am grateful for having made this declaration for my family. None have lost even an ounce of what God deemed they were destined to merit, but all garnered their deepest need is to subtract the material and divide their days into cherishing God and family as their first and foremost blessings.
Uplifted in a Broken Down World 