Author: bonniejeancarr

Most all my life, I’ve totally been driven to, so to speak, find all the needles in a haystack. Being detail orientated, owning a never to be defeated personality, possessing inner energy that seldom tires and convinced the impossible is attainable, all led me to the art of thinking all needles in my haystack had to be physically located by me. That was until lately.

My hands finding all the needles in my haystacks, basically, is a chore of fact. Trusting the needles in my haystacks to God’s hands is an act of Faith. The former bets on my work. The latter banks on God’s power. Furthermore, it must be noted that God’s need is not to establish me as the source of my accomplishments but, rather, Himself as the fulfilling source for all my endeavors. Yes, to a degree, doing God’s purpose for my life is His commissioning me, when needed, to search, far and wide, to find His children and bring them the reality of His love; but only God has the ability to set my sights and course on whom He designates me to search for and find. In the vast majority of occurrences, God leads His children to each other, over any of us, solely, searching and finding a hidden soul.

This thought process has led me to understand that not my finding all needles in a haystack but God directing me to all haystack needles is a true analogy of a Christian “finding a needle in a haystack”.

A freeing of mind, heart and soul grows from no longer holding the task of needing to find all needles in a haystack. For an individual, finding every needle is a physical challenge measuring skill. Not being caught up in finding all there is to be found by personal skill blesses one to possess Faith that what is not discovered by man’s hands is securely known and held in God’s all powerful and knowing Hands. It’s sort of a parallel in meaning to “Let Go and Let God”.

Realizing this post is very abstract thinking, my hope is that you ponder haystacks and see only God’s Palms, not your hands, fully able to unearth all the needles who appear lost or strayed. Next, humbly thank God that our inabilities pale in comparison to His abilities; that while our eyes, at times, overlook the obvious, His vision penetrates even the darkest of hiding places and what we cannot find, He refuses to render as lost. Finally, take a serenity filled breath, knowing God does not command, pressure or expect us to find every needle in a haystack. Instead, His hands will place the needles into ours.

Last night, a very special “Hope for our future” shone brightly. In a dimly lit women’s worship gathering, a few of God’s stars broke through the darkness and radiantly brought forth His light. While driving home, my eyes were opened to the possibility of a second revelation God was showing (and sharing) with me. It is this likelihood into which I wish to more deeply delve.

Who were these beautiful angels from God? In years, they are still teens. On man’s judgmental scale of success, they most likely would be classified as disadvantaged losers. However, God would more aptly hail them by the label “Yahweh’s Winning Warriors”.

These young ladies comprise a Southeast Florida “Teen Challenge” home. In fact, yesterday they crawled into “Teen Challenge” in the depths of addiction. In truth, last night they proudly marched into the midst of a women’s worship service and their amassed strength in, and love for, God inspired all to rejoice in the power of God’s mercy, forgiveness and destiny. Tomorrow, I personally believe, they will be foundational leaders in God’s army and the warriors called to reinstate the Golden Rule (not a pot of gold) and the Bible (not a bank account) as the keys to whom (not what) mankind is called to worship.

As I look out over today’s population, I wonder who can lead us not forward but rather back to God. Too many in modern day society find following, not leading, as their preferred direction. Most don’t want to stand out but to fit in. However, last night’s teens defied this norm. The young women of “Teen Challenge” know and boldly proclaim that only by going back to God are they (or anyone) able to go forward in life. These women see nothing but destruction in following the crowd. They are transformed leaders for God. God has brought them out of past failure, into present hope and faith that is leading them to a future founded and grounded in serving God, over waiting on the devil. This core of “Teen Challenge” ladies are on fire for Our Lord, and their hearts warm each and every soul in their midst.

May I pose the question, who is God grooming as the 21st Century “David” equipped to slay our Goliaths? Wil it be a sole professionally gifted in worldly skill, or a soul personally in receipt of a “heart for God”? After last night, my perception has become clearer. Couldn’t it be that our Heavenly Father will, once more, forego the skilled, mature army of “qualified” and, instead, put forth the winning qualification of “a Heart for God”? Honestly, I’m now banking on the later; and let me tell you, a regiment of such warriors with “Hearts for God” abound in “Teen Challenge” of Southeast Florida. They already have defeated the devil and won a battle only God could have led them through. Is not this the best of basic “Hearts for God” training and both the source and force needed to slay our 21st Century Goliaths?

“…He raised up David to be their king, of whom He testified and said, ‘I have found in David son of Jesse a man after my own heart, who will do all my will’.” Acts 13:22 (ESV)

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The real dilemma is not what insanity is but why mankind keeps enacting its definition. I’d be a betting that not many, if any, amongst us haven’t depicted, at one time or another, the definition of insanity. Granted, more often than naught, our hearts and goals are in the right place when we portray insanity; but none the less, it is a futile course to follow — one not orchestrated by God or through God.

One such insanity execution, by none other than yours truly, has penetrated my life lately. For me, it was in serving God. However, the calling to demonstrate insanity came from me, not God. I’ve been praying to God, and for God, to change the direction of a situation, when God, in reality, is not leading what I perceive to be the correct direction. Actually, I can see our All-Powerful Father sitting on His throne shouting down at me: “Heaven to Bonnie, not My will for you to try and accomplish this goal your way!!! Yes, it’s needed. Yes, it’s food from heaven, but it’s not the recipe of nourishment I’VE CHOSEN to feed this flock of My sheep!!!”.

Are any of you as stubborn and bullheaded a Christian as I? If so, you’ll identify when I say sometimes the Lord can only wake me up to HE being the pilot and my rank is co-pilot by painting a picture as clear as the foot on my leg (this time not the nose on my face). Such happened recently.

On that night, after wrestling for weeks with God as to why defeat, not success, was, over and over again, the result of MY attempt to carry out what I knew had to be the way to HIS will, God decided enough was enough. It was time to enlighten me. There I was, post-Midnight and only lightly dozing off, tossing and turning while praying that finally I’d be able to sway the Lord to let HIS (as I wrongly saw it) will be accomplished. Suddenly, I half awoke with an imagined jolt of nightmare pain shooting through my foot. “Ouch, that hurts,” I shouted. Immediately, I heard the admonition: “Well, whose fault is it when God is slamming shut the door with your foot still in it?”.

You better believe, I finally heard God loud and clear. Relinquishing the pilot’s seat, I crawled back into the co-pilot’s chair. At long last, peaceful rest overcame me, as the serenity prayer lulled me into deep slumber. “GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE; COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN; AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.” Last words I uttered that middle of the night were: “God, I need more wisdom.”.

“How many good, God loving people holdfast to the stance “Don’t Rock the Boat”? Too many, I fear, is the answer. “Don’t Rock the Boat” implies man’s complacency, at best, and surrender of faith in God, at worst.

The world we live in is plagued with misguided moorings in man’s will and ways. Honestly, I’m convinced God fearing Christians want no harbor in these human centered seas. However, man’s complacency in ignoring action that needs to be taken and silent surrender to riding out turbulence inside even a sinking ship, currently, prevails. Nevertheless, we need to ask ourselves if this is how God calls us to set our sails. I don’t think so. My being believes God created us not out of “Don’t Rock the Boat” material but rather out of the element of “Step Out of the Boat”.

“Don’t Rock the Boat” implies when we are in the midst of disaster, we choose to find safety by freezing in statuesque paralysis. We then keep our balance by holding our breath and trying not to move an inch. If lucky, we find ourselves propped up by attempting to retreat and lean into the timbers of a boat we don’t even want to be on board.

At times like this, we need to realize this is not our only course; nor is it God’s chosen route for us to take. God’s commanding choice for us is to keep our focus on Him and to “Step Out of the Boat”. Granted, it feels safer to shelter in place and stay in even a sinking ship over venturing into the unknown and risking we might drown in unchartered waters. Our shortcoming in this way of thinking is not that we might sink but rather that we don’t trust that God will keep us afloat. Actually, having the faith to step out into what is right, according to God, is the surest way to watch God prevent what is wrong. Why am I so sure of this? Scripture proclaims this, that’s why.

“…and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost’, they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: ‘Take courage! It is I! Don’t be afraid’. ‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ Matthew 14: 24 – 31 (NIV)

The fierce winds ceased, and peaceful seas triumphed only after Peter focused on Jesus and stepped out of the boat and toward Him. Yes, Peter got afraid (like we so often also do), but Christ grabbed hold of him (and He will us) and kept him (as He will us) from harm.

Next time we are petrified inside a battered boat, what choice will we make? I pray “Don’t Rock the Boat” is not even a passing thought. Instead, may we “Step Out of the Boat” knowing the hand of God (even if our faith wobbles) will catch us, uplift us, calm our storm and lead us into peaceful seas.

Common vision today is to view children as growing up in a world where parents are ever competing to BEST their child. If the little one down the street has a peck of anything, then your child needs a bushel of it. After all, doesn’t a parent need to give their child the BEST, and isn’t BEST synonymous with most? Unfortunately, this is how today’s worldly think. However, God does not call parents to BEST their children. He calls them to BLESS their children. Tragedy is in the pursuit to BEST a child, there is failure to BLESS a child.

BEST is composed of the material — toys, clothes, electronics, sports equipment, dancing shoes, cars (from infant push cars to teenage full size hot wheels) etc.. BLESS is created from the inner fibers of God’s Word, forgiveness, grace and gifting. BEST is calculated on a scale with increments. BLESS can only be measured by the weight God’s teachings carry in your heart and soul.

Some parents will even go in debt to give the BEST, whereas indebtedness to God for the unbuyable gifts of life funds a mommy’s and daddy’s ability to BLESS.

To BEST is to quantitively out do all others. To BLESS is to sow seeds of wisdom and appreciation, even when little is all that is had.

To BEST is to push a child toward the top so they feel like a star. To BLESS is to love, comfort and inspire a young heart and soul to pick themselves up and keep climbing to the heavens when they feel down and defeated.

To BEST is encouraging a youngster to feel he/she is superior and others inferior. To BLESS is instilling within a child humility and knowing each and every child is the apple of God’s eye.

The world, indeed, is on track to BEST. None the less, an unheralded number of God’s parents travel the path to BLESS. For those of you who have lost faith in today’s parents, I challenge you to stand in a corner of a church building. Watch parents who have chosen to BLESS their children. The numbers might astound you. While Malls furnish the ability to BEST. Sunday School and Sunday Service is where parents learn to BLESS. Matter of fact speaking, God’s fold of parents who are flocking to churches for guidance, encouragement and stamina to BLESS (not BEST) are masses not minuses.

There is hope for the future, and it is more than time that we all take our focus off of those who BEST. Rather, we are called to see and stand behind those striving to BLESS. Who knows, by doing so we might be giving ourselves a strong dose of antidote for seeing only the failings of the world, as well as administering a shot of Christian support to Godly parents who solely and “soul”y are seeking to BLESS their children. “Whoever brings blessings will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” Proverbs 11:25 (ESV)

FAITH is believing you can make a difference but knowing you are not the difference. The difference is God. While the earthly outcome may not be what you desire, faith is believing the outcome, no matter what, ends in God.

HOPE, though worn today, is born tomorrow.

LOVE is not reaching out but REACHING IN.

CHRISTIANITY is not a garment. It is a thread.

SUCCESS is not reaching the stars but reaching beyond the stars and grasping the Heavens.

TOMORROW is not the end of the darkness of today’s challenges. It is a new dawn where God’s light rises to guide, guard and gather His believers into the power, perseverance and protection of His loving arms.

OUR CHOICE is to be grumpy or grateful — to blame God for what we have not or to thank God for what He has given.

MY INSPIRATION THIS WEEK is the vision of my four-year-old grandson, with head bowed and eyes closed, leading our family in “GOD IS GREAT. GOD IS GOOD. LET US THANK HIM FOR OUR FOOD. BY HIS HANDS WE ALL ARE FED. GIVE US LORD OUR DAILY BREAD. AMEN.”

AMEN translates SO BE IT…

When my hair vanity is on display, hats are my go-to. Problem with this declaration is not my messy, untamed hair needing to be hidden, but rather, the exposing of the heavy mane of vanity that crops into my being. However, this week my unruly mop tucked inside my baseball cap struck out for just how pride filled it is. The home run hitter was a true “All Star’s” sleek and shiny head which was slipped inside a soft pink bucket hat and challenging all to look as beautiful as she.

The scene unfolded early morn as I was running into the store because I was running out of my staple blueberries. A car was at the curb and a tiny, frail elderly lady was attempting to maneuver exiting its door. Her eyes radiating joy and her smile speaking gratitude for being out and about was first what drew me into her world. It was then her bucket hat revealed it rested not on top of unruly locks but over the absence of what we ladies call our crowning glory.

Our eyes connected, and her sweet voice chirped, “I love your shoes!”. I answered, “me, too, they are green the color of hope!”. I added, “but today I’m declaring pink, the color or your hat, is also the color of hope.”. We laughed.

Remembering, I was on a fast mission, I was through the door before a moment’s more hesitation. Then, the most miraculous of all shopping events happened. From the long line of stored carts, my hands pulled out one that was perfect. Wheels were perfectly aligned, well-greased and absolutely smooth gliding. Instinctively, I knew God was talking, and I needed to listen. No way was this perfect cart a co-incidence. It had God-incidence written all over it. So, I stopped and asked, “Where to God? You have to be leading.”.

My baseball capped head turned to the sidewalk. There was my “All Star” trying to balance her mangled frame and gain enough traction to attempt a tiny step. Immediately, I knew God sent the perfect cart for her, not me. Positioning the cart into a parking spot from which no one else could claim it, I darted back outside to lend my new hero a hand. Only then did I notice the deformity of her legs. However, not harboring frustration or self-pity but with a pinpoint balance of gratitude, she leaned on her uplifting spirit to hold and carry her.

Apologizing for having run off without realizing there was helping to share, I offered her my arm and added God had her chariot awaiting her. We laughed the entire slow journey to where her “perfect” blessing from God was parked. I asked if I could assist her in any other way; and she assured me the rest the Lord would hold her hand through and challenge her to conquer!!

What I would learn was her husband had not dropped her off to fill a basket with groceries to feed their bodies. She was there to nourish her heart and soul by devouring the sustenance of exercise for her emaciated skeleton. With the crutch of God given support, she crawled the aisle from outside door to cash register and then back again.

As I bid my final words to my newfound sister in Christ, my head was still capped and my hands blueberry filled; but it was truly my heart and soul that were overflowing with the most meaningful of blessings having touched my life — a pink bucket hat protecting a smooth bald head, legs deformed and struggling to balance a hunched over spine. She was a pillar of strength, the noblest of God’s children journeying home to the open and waiting Gates of Heaven. Thank you, God, for gifting me the crossing of our paths…

Too much time we spend looking around us to unlock our happiness. However, happiness can only be found within us. Treasures do not sit under spotlights flashing their presence. They are buried under lock and key and need to be discovered. Happiness is such a treasure, and it is hidden in the soil from where all God given dreams are born and found — within our hearts and souls. The challenge is not to capture happiness but to allow the happiness seeded deep within our hearts and souls to capture us.

Lifetimes are spent searching for the key to happiness. We scour the earth looking for this mighty key, but discovery seems so elusive. Could it be we fail to search with wisdom? The key to happiness is not a remote metal object. On the contrary, each and every one of us is the key to our own happiness, and the lock that must be opened rests deep within our hearts and souls.

The elusive mystery surrounding the key to happiness centers in the magic of a key. To open a treasure, a key must reach inside the center of the lock. Keys unlock not on the outside but from the inside. As we, each and every one, search for our happiness, may we key-in to our innermost heart and soul and unlock, from the inside out, the happiness that dwells within.

Two years marks the last time my Dad, in person, poured wisdom into my being, but the vast streams of loving, wise and essential guidance he left behind still flow through my heart and soul. Recently, the demands of life brought me to my desk where my fingertips re-located a letter to my 3B’s that shared the story of my Dad teaching me a lesson I needed both yesteryear and today. With tears in my soul and laughter in my heart, I re-read the lesson and re-thank my Dad for still watching over me.

Britt, Beamer and Brooke,

I finally got a few moments that I can share a really good lesson, and funny one too, that Granddaddy taught me last Friday. Yep, good old mom is still learning from her Dad!!! Well, the countdown was on to our first showing and needless to say mom felt all alone on her impossible mission to get the house ready and do the stuff I thought I couldn’t. However, I knew that no one is to blame for me flying solo in so many tasks. I only have to lean even harder on God to give me strength and endurance and hope. Well, the real test came when a light bulb in the kitchen went out and the day was so dreary, I needed all the light I could get to reveal how bright and sunny the kitchen area is.

Granddaddy was finishing his breakfast when I realized the bulb had to be replaced. I was really a tad flustered cause mom just isn’t any good with heights, and you know how high the ceiling over the kitchen area is. Well, after I point blankly announced this was ridiculous that I had all this on my shoulders, granddaddy said “WE” could do it. I said “HE” couldn’t climb at all, and “I” wasn’t about to climb anything higher than a six-foot ladder. Granddaddy said that a six-footer wouldn’t do it. I said I didn’t care. I was too scared to go any higher, so the six-footer had to work. Granddaddy went on to say if that was as high a ladder as I was willing to stretch my fear to, then I was to go get the six-footer and he knew how I could do it.

Kids, after I struggled with my self pity and the six-footer and finally got the ladder into the kitchen, Granddaddy was standing there with the table all cleared off and moved to directly under the light. Of course, I asked why on earth he had moved the table, especially since, on doctor’s orders, he wasn’t to move big things. Very calmly and matter of factly he simply said, “let’s put the ladder on top of the table”. HE WAS COMPLETELY SERIOUS!!! I told him he was crazy if he thought I was going to put a six- foot ladder on top of the table and then get up on the table and climb it. He replied that was the only way I could reach the bulb with a six-foot ladder.

Guess what? I brought the six-footer back into the garage; and after another struggle to get and eight-foot ladder into the kitchen, I moved the table back to where it normally sat, positioned the eight-foot ladder under the bulb, prayed for what might have been my last time and with determination and faith climbed that ladder, pulled that fixture down, unscrewed a tight not wanting to be replaced blub, replaced the bulb, put the fixture back into the ceiling and made it back down to earth!!!

Granddaddy simply said “see, you never know what you are capable of till you have to stretch your own set of limits!!!”. Now let me emphatically dictate this is not giving you three license to go out and cast your common sense to the wind and be dangerous. Let mom do it for the entire family. However, let our entire family increase our set limits of what we feel we can reach to find the light God wants to illuminate for our family. And above all, let us remember He holds us all individually and as family in the palm of His loving and protective Hand.

I love you all,

Mom

(My currently added P.S. today reads: Dad, I loved you then. I love you now, and I love you forever. And yes, I’m still listening to you, following your wisdom and thanking God for you.)

My Charlotte, NC son-in-love was preaching his first sermon at his new church home. Naturally, I drove up to share the joy-filled milestone. He made not only me but also God very proud. However, this blog is not about my bragging on my family. It’s about the moment that day when I realized I’m thinking thimble, not chalice.

The lightbulb went on as I tried to partake of Holy Communion. The elements were in my hands, and I was front and center struggling to open them. Now, I don’t mean a little pull on the tab. It was an all-out tug of war. Past when the elements had been congregationally taken, my top protective barrier was finally released — pulled open so forcibly that the contents graced not my consumption but rather my attire. I should have been embarrassed. I wasn’t. Instead, I was tuned in to Christ exclaiming, “You’re lucky man serves in a thimble. I offered a chalice to mankind.”. Ouch!!

My core felt the enlightening reprimand. Christ sacrificed every single drop of his blood to win our freedom from sin. This is the biggest gift ever to be given — past, present or future. But do we really recognize this today? Could present time miniscule serving of Christ’s symbolic blood diminish in our sight the magnitude of His sacrificial gift? For many, I sadly feel, it does.

We are a society of X-large size beverages. I, myself, sport a 64-ounce water bottle to be daily consumed. For a healthy life, I drain that bottle once or twice a day; but question is shouldn’t I desire vast amounts of Christ’s redeeming lifeline too? Instead, I delegate it to a thimble. Believe me, I fully know less than even a tiny drop of Christ’s blood can save the entire world. However, shouldn’t I thirst after Christ’s lifesaving water and want to consume it by the gallon? Why do I nonchalantly feel a thimble is enough — and this not even a daily need or want?

On Holy Thursday, Christ passed a chalice full of His representational blood to His apostles. His gesture symbolized His giving in abundance and from His all. Do we remember this as we expect and settle for a drop in a thimble? Maybe this sheds a light on how we forget Christ’s ever flowing stream of redemptive waters still pours forth on each and every one of us today.

Christ, His redemptive blood, forgiveness and grace are not tightly wrapped in a thimble. They forever flow forth in living streams from the chalice of wounds hammered into the palms of His hands. Thus, I ask, when you partake of Communion, does a chalice or a thimble nourish your being?