Author: bonniejeancarr

We are called to walk behind our Heavenly Father. No better place could we children of God ever be found. However, I can’t help but cringe when I realize how many times I have been confused over the meaning and position of walking behind. By definition (both God’s and man’s) walking behind translates to I am not leading. Another, namely God, is leading. Why then, (and so often) do I chase ahead of God and position myself as the commander who tries to call the strategy, execute the plan and save the troops, the day and the outcome I’m certain is needed and best? Even a preschooler knows that if you are not the designated line leader, you don’t stand ahead of all others and guide the way forward. Thus, there’s no excuse for this Grammy to misstep where God calls me to be.

Going beyond me personally, I can’t claim a monopoly on saying I walk behind God but in actuality, too often, needing to turn around for assurance He’s with me. This is a human failing of the masses. Just look at the world in which we live. How often we all, on bended knee, beg God to lead and carry us; but once we leave the stance of genuflection, we race ahead with God, metaphorically, having to catch up to us.

Impatience, lack of Scripture understanding and Satan’s imposed sense of our needing to be in control equate to our illogical misconception of where we are to be, if we truly are walking behind our Heavenly Father. This week God has led me through His Word to face my shortcomings preventing me from the wisdom, need and urgency of releasing the reins to become His follower and to grow me in standing behind His sovereign reign of leadership. I wish to share His lessons.

Impatience: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14

Scripture Understanding: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

Release of Control: “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21 (ESV)

Today dawns with me relinquishing the lead and following God’s Word. As I position myself as God’s loyal and grateful follower, my shoulders no longer need to carry the load, for my soul follows Scripture’s promise. “Again, Jesus spoke to them, saying ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’.” John 8:12 (ESV)

God’s children, from every corner of our world, quote His words. The Word of God is the blueprint of how we are to live. However, look around and we see life completely opposite God’s words. How can this be? Some say it is because what we quote is not what we live. Sadly, in many, many instances this is true. None the less, I believe the greater source for wrong living takes root in mankind forgetting one of God’s very significantly spoken words. Thus, I now pose for us to ponder if what fuels today’s self-gratifying and entitlement style of living is that generations are oblivious to one of God’s most crucial (and guiding) words, first spoken in the Garden of Eden. What is this word? It is NO.

Yes, God said NO in the Garden of Eden. Even more revealing is He meant NO. It was not misquoted or a mistake. Man fell to sin. God never stopped loving man, but He had established rules in the Garden. Man broke God’s rules. God did not say that’s ok; I know you didn’t mean to do wrong, so I’ll ignore the lapse this time. On the contrary, God said NO. No, you cannot go on as if nothing wrong happened. No, you have not and cannot ever become God’s equal. No, you do not escape the consequences of your choices.

God’s love for Adam, Eve and all of us future sinners never waned, but it also never ebbed out our responsibility to expect and accept consequences for our wrong doings. God is the founding Father of tough love. God knew tough love was necessary for us to grow up, own up and one up the devil’s leading us astray and away from reunification with our Lord in heaven.

Tough love was God’s tool for building restoration. In today’s world, tough love is not only denounced, it is annihilated. Thus, is it any wonder that we now live in a world hell bent (and bound) on destruction? Satan, just like he blinded Eve, has blurred our vision, which in turn enables our weak wills to demand yes where our strong souls should surrender to NO.

To be the best of parents to the children God entrusts to us, our role model should be none other than our Father, God Himself. Therefore, isn’t it more than time, NOW, that we turn from the devil’s permissive and deadly beguiling of “yes promises” and return to the restorative and reconciliation of God’s tough love “NO”?

Make no mistake, man’s earthly waywardness of saying yes to everything is not rooted in God’s love but Satan’s hate. For our world to change from Satan’s evil to God’s love, we grown-ups must take a “God’s Word” stance before our children, our institutions and our civil leaders. God’s tough love “NO” must become our vision, our vocabulary and our voice.

From where does the magnificent butterfly come? From a dark, lonely bleak cocoon, not Saks Fifth Avenue and a five-star spa — that’s where!

Now here’s food for thought and metamorphosis for our faith and hope (or lack of it) to evolve. Do you think God created the butterfly’s transformation by accident or without deep meaning and message? I don’t. Look at our lives. Nothing glorious is ever achieved without our hearts and souls surrendering to the chamber of God’s power, where magnificence can resurrect from whence most saw only defeat, decay and even a tomb of death. Can’t you see a cocoon comparison?

There is another lesson, I believe, God has woven into the creation of His butterflies. Who we are today is not the reality of who we can be tomorrow. However, changing from who we are to who we can be is not found in the open spaces of living in, and of, the world. Change happens by retreating within ourselves and growing into all God seeded inside each of us. It is only by taking time to hibernate from the world that you, me and all God’s children can metamorphose from the rhinestone of worldly glitter into the diamond of heavenly radiance.

I see God in a butterfly. I believe, God longs to see a butterfly in each of us.

My heart aches, and breaks, as one of my most treasured “self-adopted” sisters walks her mother home to heaven. The past few weeks I’ve also joined others in prayer as their loved ones embark on this same journey. Sharing in the offering of prayer strengthens the faith and hope of our souls; but despair, even to the most ardent of God’s children, also infiltrates the heart of those watching their loved ones suffer on this road to eternity. Choruses of “why, God?” have been an echoing cry. I have no magic wand to void out this question, but I do believe a “wisdom of God” answer can be found in a garden — the Garden of Eden. Such was the message I shared with my cherished sister and now, you.

So often, we automatically think God determines death. We forget that sin and the devil manufactured death. God did not initiate death. Yes, being all-knowing God knows the number of our days and they are written in the Book of Life even before we are born, but this is not an equation equaling God is responsible for death. He created us to live. The agony of death is of Satan. As Christians, we realize earthly death leads to eternity in heaven. However, we overlook the suffering of death is not God waiting to open His door but rather Satan trying to interfere with closing the door on earthly suffering. Only Satan’s claws are responsible for suffering and death. Rest assured, though, that God’s hands are holding and carrying our loved ones as they journey home. God’s tears are being shed just as ours are.

We, as humans, often consider going home to heaven as climbing a mountain. We ascend upward, reach the peak and we are home in eternity. Yet, in honesty, Psalm 23, the most hailed verse to guide in death, states “… even though I walk through the VALLEY of the shadow of death”. A valley is a low piece of land between hills or mountains. In a valley, our eyes cannot look up and see an endpoint. There is no visible peak to a valley. God is associated with the mountaintop. That is where He spoke to Moses and revealed Himself to man. That Christ died on top of Mount Calvary is symbolic that while God, as a man, had to die for our salvation, His death was never under the devil’s control. God is God and the devil could never taint Him. Thus, His death was mountaintop, but man’s is of the valley. The devil, we always say, lives DOWN in hell. He and his place are beneath all else, at rock bottom. Too often, we forget the devil is a spirit that can leave hell and travel to earth, carrying his suitcase packed full of death. Since his position is low, is it not logical that he and the death he brings is of the valley? What we must hold fast to is that God descends the mountain and carries His children through the valley of death. None make this journey without His watch. God is not of the valley, but He is in the valley holding His heaven bound children.

Psalm 23 continues “I will fear no EVIL, for YOU are with me. The EVIL is the devil. The YOU is God. The devil is real and lurking at death’s door, but God is also, most certainly, there with those journeying home to Him. We need not fear the devil, for God will escort each of our loved ones home, and as He opens heaven’s door, the door will be slammed on the death that the devil brought to earth.

I possess no words capable of reducing, let alone removing, the sting of death. However, my faith, hope and love cling unflinchingly to God’s promise that “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (NIV)

Who would gift a mountain? I would. You ask, why such a strange offering? My answer is God’s children are called to set their heights high and climb to the top of mountainous goals.

Most would try to keep your earthly path free of mountains. Not me. I’ve discovered one of life’s valuable secrets. To offer another a mountain is synonymous with giving their existence challenge. Though peril-filled, the ascent to a mountain peak is a journey never to be forsaken for a level ride. No dream rests on flat terrain. All are found at the top of a mountain.

A life lacking a mountain is deprived of adventure, accomplishment, and a goal for your outstretched fingertips to scratch. Climbing a mountain isn’t easy, but what accomplishment of merit is? A life centered around the ascent of a mountain will make you dedicated, persevering and, most meaningful of all, capable of hearing the call of your God given heart and soul.

Because I care about others, I wouldn’t take hardship out of their climb. Only in its presence will they realize the reward of believing completely in God (and sufficiently in themselves) to overcome all obstacles. If hardship isn’t outwardly present, it will be feared inwardly. Encounter hardship and you will know when God is near, you are capable of overcoming any battle. Physical handicaps will never halt you, if your aim is higher than the material. However, you must realize that while the world gives you a pair of legs with which to climb, from God alone comes the grace to make them move.

It is misfortune for anyone to be shielded from the reality of trail. For, facing trial is but a door opening to God’s reward of gaining His peace and blessings. With God as our anchor, we are capable of unlocking this door. The question is not of our ability, but rather, will we cast off Satan’s lies of disability?

A life which includes a mountain, also, contains tears. Tears reflect feeling. Pity only he who cannot feel. This alone is tragedy. We must not fear crying even a river of tears. Remember, Christ’s mountain of becoming man to carry us to the pinnacle of redemption saw Him shed caring tears. We are in His company when our tears pour forth.

I offer you the wish that God sends His mountain designated just for you. Only then, can you climb to the top and reach the blessing of God’s special dream for you — whatever that may be.

It was an exhausting dream, with me feeling as if I was racing while bound in slow motion. I needed prayers and desperately was trying to contact both my prayer mentor and my right hand from decades ago. My every effort was thwarted. Neither phone nor computer could my hands maneuver into working. Locked into a paralyzed flurry, my tears sobbed that I was in need of heavenly intercession by my legion of prayer warriors; but my pleas for my army to suit up with me, I was incapable of communicating.

It was then that God spoke. My child, I hear your voice. The need of an army is not heard above the imploration of a single soul. Yes, there is loud hearing in great numbers joined together, but not beyond the sole voice of one praying soul. I do not listen because of the quantity of soles present, but out of the quality of even one, tiny soul’s presence.

And so, my pondering began. As a mother, my heart delights when one of my children comes home to me. Yes, there is louder love and joy expressed when they all, at once, are with me; but the love and joy is not more. Each is cherished as deeply as a “single one” as they are when grouped together. When my children unify and come to me, the difference is I am reminded of our family circle and the love that is amongst us and not just between us. As family, we are our strongest. However, this does not equate to less love or caring if only a single one of my children sits by my side. As individuals, none of my children are worthy of less, or more, or my attention, help or love than the others. My mother’s heart is never divided with one possessing a larger portion than the others. I am here for each, just as I am for all. From being created in the image and likeness of God, mothers and fathers inherit this way of listening and loving.

I am one of the strongest believers in unified prayer. I continually reach out to my prayer warriors to unite in prayer for mine and other’s needs. I am, also, deeply honored and committed to be asked to pray for others’ needs. So, don’t get me wrong. In no way am I suggesting that many joining together in prayer for one purpose is not valued or needed. Unquestionably, an army can better win a war by supporting each other and jointly fending off an enemy than an individual can. What I am saying is that unified numbers help beat back the enemy (Satan), but they don’t predispose the General (God) as to whether the war is worthy of His leading.

Am I confusing you? What am I trying to say? Simply worded, my intent is to encourage every single pair of folded hands to realize that God hears their every prayer. They are worthy of this. God loves them and He listens to their intercessions, even when whispered in their solo voice. A force of prayer warriors is no more worthy of God’s ear than their solitary cries. My heart longs to reach out to those who feel their prayers are of inconsequence and less worthy than others’ — those who believe God will better listen to others more worthy than they feel they are. No child of God is more worthy of God’s ear than the other.

We pray together because there is strength in numbers — not worthiness. My heart breaks when a coveted child of God reaches out to others for prayer because they believe their words, alone, are not good enough to render hearing. Truth be told, God accepts and holds every prayer, from every child of His, as worthy of His loving care. We all, each and every one of us, is called to pray and not to imperatively “well, pray” or judgmentally “pray well”. God desires nothing beyond that we “pray without ceasing”. (I Thessalonians 5:17 ESV).

Most certainly, let us be family and join in a choir of prayer to fill all of Heaven’s chambers with both our praises and needs; but be assured a single, even ill versed, word does touch God’s heart just as deeply as a full chorus. Never be fooled into thinking you need others to join you because your prayers are too weak. Prayer warriors, joined together, expose greater strength. Their purpose and effectiveness are never to cover wrongly perceived weakness. Herein, grows God’s message, rooted within my dream.

After weeks of celebrating old memories and new beginnings, today finds many packing away the ornaments that have been decorating our homes and lives the past month or so. Question is does God call us to do this, or does the world lead us to hide CHRISTmas in storage?

The world declares the holidays are over, and we are to get back into the stark contrast of our self-motivated, material climbing treadmill of life. God proclaims a HOLYDAY opposite. God’s present of His Son’s redeeming birth is not meant to be boxed up and stored for even a moment, let alone a whole year. So, why do we allow the presence of this gift to not adorn our existence, every day of every year?

In between his annual visit, children enjoy Santa’s gifts throughout the year. God’s Christ Child present, and presence, is not a once in a year event. God’s gifting is marked “always and forever”. Shouldn’t the appreciation and application of the gift of CHRISTmas, then, ring out from our hearts and souls throughout all seasons of the year — and our lives?

Santa’s visit stems from folklore. Christ’s birth is rooted in historically validated fact. Oh, if only all children of God held truth over fantasy. Revealed faith and hope placed in Baby Jesus will overcome our trials and tribulations. Even the best of make-believe traditions can’t carry us over (or through) the worldly mountains we, humans, (without exception) must travel.

This year, I (and hopefully you, too) refuse to let boxes in attic storage blind me, for most of the year, to the eternal joy of CHRISTmas. Thus, this day’s resolution is not to do away with “negatives and shortcomings” but to daily be filled with the inspiring meaning and message of Christ’s birth. As a reminder for me on those days when life seems hard to celebrate, I’m leaving out (and prominently displaying) my favorite “meaning of CHRISTmas” decoration. 24/7 and 365 of 2023, my soul will remember the joy of the gift who gave birth to CHRISTmas and continues to breathe joy-filled life into my heart and soul. Might not the redeeming cries of Baby Jesus, swaddled in the manger, be calling you to do the same?

No shame about it, I am oblivious to so much of present-day outlooks and inner blindness. More times than naught, what matters most to a vast majority of today’s population hasn’t even crossed my radar screen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging others or, even, myself. Simply speaking, I am merely confessing I am wired differently (possibly weirdly) than so many and so much of the word. Additionally, let me state I actually had to google sequence of classifications and whom they include to be able to pen my thoughts this blog. I mean, I know the alphabet forwards and backwards but had not a clue what a “Gen Z” is. You’ve probably guessed it’s generations and generational identity that I’ve paused and pondered this week.

To me, generations, solely, means the lineage of family. My soul, praise God, was formed, has grown and is grateful for the love, wisdom and unique heritage my family has instilled in me. This lineage begins with my Heavenly Father, who created me and constantly guides and guards me. He birthed me into a family possessing grandparents who loved me because God shared me with them and believed not only in God but, also, the dreams God had breathed into my heart and soul. Of even deeper significance and gratitude, God put my physical and spiritual life into the hands of His greatest set of parents — my Mom and Dad. Entrusted to them (and my greatest legacy) was the task of teaching me how to bend my knees and pray, pick myself up when I fall, scale the heights while remaining at grass roots level, and reach the stars and carry them back down to earth and share their beauty and meaning with all God’s children. Add my Brother, Christ, who loved me enough to redeem me and, finally, my two human brothers and sister who continually nudge my life’s journey with both encouragement and Kleenex to wipe away my tears and it’s obvious why generations, to me, is synonymous with family.

Sadly though, today, this is not the norm for society’s image of generations. My language of gratitude is almost unheard of, as combative words are routinely shouted amongst current generations. The elderly are aghast at the materialism of so many “young’uns”. In return, the peak of life members of society blame the “over the hill” for surviving by climbing mountains instead of leveling all playing fields. Once more, I’m not judging. On the contrary, my lament is over the family unit being trampled and the family circle being abolished by opposite sides being formed. For this, I do not shout in condemning anger but cry in sadness.

Generations are not to be divisively compared but unitedly shared. I believe God hears all prayers and in His time answers each and every one. Will you join me in praying our generations return from warring opposite sides to the love of an entwined circle?

On to a glance at generational “identity” in today’s world. One of the most celebratory days in my Dad’s life was when his fourth-generation great-grandson was born. Dad’s family name would be carried on!!! My Dad, however, made it clearly understood the passing down of his name carried not alphabet letters arranged in a certain sequence but the responsibility of bearing the order of his life — Love God, Love Family, Love your Country and its Freedom, Love your Fellow Mankind.

Again, I shudder at how, presently, society’s “identity” is not the “rite” to carry on but the “right” to separate and leave behind. I listen all around me as people proclaim their only identity is baby boomer, millennial or Gen Z, and whom they identify as “they are not” is totally to blame for all that is wrong.

Today is Christmas. No more perfect day is there to talk about our identity. Are we baby boomers, millennials, or Gen Z’s; or is our identity a child of God? Are we called to identify with luxury, mansions, wealth and popularity; or are we called to identify with meagerness, a stable, hardship and obscurity?

For many, the celebration of today comes from what it under a tree. This is not God’s calling but our listening to worldly undertones. God calls us to the manger and to celebrate the priceless gift it holds. What’s more, as we gaze at our Christmas trees, may we not look under it for the greatest of gifts but realize it is the Baby, born in a stable and who hung upon a tree to redeem us, that is our greatest gift. From generation to generation and as united family, “O, Come Let Us Adore HIM, CHRIST THE LORD”!!!

Have you ever watched a pair of toddler siblings display how to solve the other’s wrongdoing? The sibling seeing or receiving the misbehavior screams for Mommy or Daddy to come. Once the parent is on scene, the “good” child, blow by blow, relates the “naughty” child’s misdeed — he hit me, she took my toy, he won’t share his toy, she made fun of me, etc., etc., etc. Then, the “perfect” child, having placed the wrong in parental hands, sits back, anticipating judgment and punishment to be delivered. Now, if by chance Mommy or Daddy shows mercy instead of “just” discipline, the “perceived faultless one” is outraged. Truly, the tyke sees mercy solely as “ME”rcy. Let the hatchet fall on everyone else!!!

I’m pretty sure we, all, are chuckling over this scenario. How many times we’ve, probably, seen this exact happening, and the script is always similar. It’s human nature, born within, and outside revealed, from a toddler’s tender age and beyond. Question is, aren’t we to outgrow this when we are re-born into Christianity? Honest answer is yes; but, so often, we don’t.

Our New Testament Lord is one of grace, mercy and love. Each and every one of us, gratefully, accepts this personally unmerited gift for ourselves; but with its bestowal on others, too often, we revert to wishing on them Old Testament wrath.

I don’t think the struggle for us is putting the injustice of being wronged into God’s hands. Rather, it is to relinquish to God the power to be merciful over judgmental, loving over angry, forgiving over punishing. We tend to want God to heal us but wound those who have hurt us. This is our fallen and human nature; but Christ calls us, and the Holy Spirit enables us, to be so much more.

Many cliches address our call to follow the Golden Rule. However, for us Christians, we are, first and foremost, called to dwell upon how our sinful nature was borne on the outstretched arms of our crucified Redeemer and atoned for by His very words: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34. Should we not, at least, strive for our lives to echo the same, and then, willingly, leave God’s choice for mercy or judgement to Him, and Him alone?

Much of mankind suffers directional problems. God calls all whom He created to worship vertically and work horizontally. However, when I look around, I see a vast number caught in the snare of doing the exact opposite. They worship horizontally and work vertically.

Worship belongs to God alone. Our Heavenly Father, exclusively, is worthy of our adoration. Raising our heads, hearts and souls to God in heaven above is vertical worship. None the less, this is not the scene painted across our planet. Vast numbers in society worship what is found horizontally — wealth, fame, praise, power and even the ability to pulverize whom and what does not bow to their thoughts and desires. Shamefully, not God’s call, but man’s commands, source the catalyst for a growing percentage of modern-day worship.

As children of God, we are commissioned to care for those who, in need, stand horizontally beside us. Also, it is from here that God flows our rewards. “…If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58: 9b-11 (ESV). This is the fruition of horizontally working. Remorsefully though, this is not the common picture of today’s, at work, population. Instead, the majority invest their work into climbing the corporate ladder so they can vertically rise above the rest of the crowd. Reaching out to help others is replaced by stepping on, and over, all to get above them.

Vertical worship is reaching up to heaven in thanksgiving and praise to our ONE and ONLY GOD. Vertical work is toppling others to reach the stars and outshine all others.

Horizontal work is answering God’s call to reach out to those beside us and nurture their needs by reflecting God’s creed. Horizontal worship is, unquestionably, adoring what the world, mistakenly, proclaims to be the physical treasures that can fulfill our needs and longings.

This is the season of “O Come Let Us Adore Him” and “Peace on Earth and Mercy Mild, God and Sinners Reconciled”. However, for these written words to transcend into the breathing core of all our lives, our vertical and horizontal directions must be as God ordained them to be. Thus, this moment finds me examining the compass guiding my life’s journey. In the spirit of true Christmas sharing, please, feel invited to join me.