Author: bonniejeancarr

With a note of humor, I’m sharing how, this week, God truly bumped me along in life. Lately, I’ve been inundated with concern over many, whom I love dearly, facing difficult times. As you all know and experience for yourselves, it is hard and painful to be unable to make things better for family and friends caught in life’s struggles. At best, we often can only walk behind and beside loved ones going through trials and tribulations.

Early one night this week I went for my daily walk, asking God for a sign of how we can know all will get through their present struggles and continue with hope for the future. By now you all are aware that I talk directly to God, fully expecting (and more times than not, receiving) His direct answer. Believe me, on that walk God spoke loud and clear — even though I am sure He was, also, belly laughing.

My normal (or should I say abnormal) routine starts every walk going backwards for fifteen minutes. In the depths of my normal ritual and sign seeking conversation with God, He, literally, bounced me off my feet and up in the air. I landed on my bottom in the plush grass to the side of my center sidewalk path. Adding extra boot to the wisdom of His message, my left shoe was flying through the air as God miraculously cushioned my landing. Immediately, I exclaimed, “got it, God”!!!

It’s ok to lose our footing and even fall flat in life. What matters is God’s grace and love allows us to pick ourselves up and keep going — even if it is opposite the crowd, like me walking backwards. Most of all, we need to remember we, children of God, don’t walk with the sole of our shoes but with the SOUL of our HEARTS.

Can you remember what was the first thing you longed for in life? I can! It was a Tiny Tears doll. For months, I waited for her to be mine. This morning, for some reason, this recollection re-captivated my memory.

The “who” and “what” of Tiny Tears is simple. She was a baby doll who, when you fed a baby bottle of water, cried real tears. Me being me and so symbolic in soul, it’s my wondering about the “why” of Tiny Tears that, today, inrigued me.

Was Tiny Tears a foreshadowing of the significance that tears would prove to be in my life??? As a small child, I valued a doll who could, and would, cry. As a Grammy, I am grateful for a heart and soul that trusts each and every tear I have (or will) ever shed has watered my roots and strengthened the core of my beliefs. Being able to shed a tear means there is not only the ability, but also the capacity, to care, to feel and to both touch and be touched by the purifying waters of all God’s promises. Some tears, truly, rip my heart and soul into pieces. Other tears seal the pieces back together. All combine to, ultimately, shower me with the blessing of God’s grace in (and on) my life.

Like Tiny Tears, I cry so very easily and often. For Tiny Tears, I, her earthly mommy, would wipe her tears away with all my love and hugs. For me, God, my Heavenly Father, wipes my tears away with all His poured out forgiveness, faithful love and unfailing grace.

My Tiny Tears doll of long ago — no way was it co-incidence that she was my first hoped for worldly treasure. On the contrary, my Tiny Tears was, quite possibly, the first God incidence in my life, guiding me and enabling me to cry out with faith, hope and love as I pursue the gift of eternal treasure. Thank you, God, for all my tiny tears.

A dearest of friends’ life is dedicated to fulfilling the reality of Brides’ dreams. She is not a mere wedding planner. Her appropriate shingle would read : “God’s Wedding MAGIcian”.

This morning Lisa texted me a picture of her yesterday bride arriving for the ceremony. I mean, Cinderella move over!!! The carriage delivering this bride made Disney’s coach look pale and mundane. Post my initial gasp, my lungs filled with laughter. For you see, I felt my Heavenly Father wink and sketch a sage filled analogy of antonyms.

Think of the time, effort and tears all brides sacrifice for their arrival at (and of) their wedding, so that it results in an absolute beautiful and perfect masterpiece. Don’t get me wrong. This is good, not bad. However, it does sort of highlight how we, humans, picture perfect scenes to escort us into our worldly fairytales come true. But, what about the reality of our greatest dream being granted — our arrival at, and into, heaven?

Don’t know about you, and can’t speak for you; but as for me, I’m absolutely certain for my arrival at heaven’s gate, no one is going to ooh and aah and sing out “There she is, Miss America”!!! It’s sheer illusion, and delusion, to imagine myself as gracefully floating (or gloating) into heaven. In honesty, at best, I’ll be worn, torn and crawling across the threshold. How about you???

It’s great for us all to hold onto cherishing the visions of our Cinderella earthly weddings. However, let’s also never let go of insight into our most beautiful entrance of all — worn, torn and crawling as Christ’s bride into God’s eternal, loving arms.

This God engineered enlightenment shared one last picture of truth with me. On that day when I, and you, crawl into heaven, never before will any of us ever have appeared so radiant.



I was emerged in the freedom of my cherished exercise routine. Adding extra joy, my son was calling to check up on me; and I proudly reported that I was in the groove of walking backward and beginning to feel my plantar facciitis subsiding. Observing someone stopped on the sidewalk ahead of me, I turned forward to pass. However, this person was not about to let me pass by without stopping me, dead in my track, and severely chastising me for walking backwards.

Through my earbuds, Beamer inquired what on earth was going on. I answered I was catching hell from a stranger. Cutting her rampage short, I politely (and believe me this was forced) thanked he for her thoughts and moved on.

I left that lady in my dust, but the verbal attack was not easy for me to dismiss. I felt hurt and unfairly attacked. Why was this my reaction? I knew that woman was wrong, and I was doing what I needed to do to help heal an injury and keep physically healthy. Still, I was wounded for no legitimate reason at all. Thus, I turned to God and asked why this so bothered me. Why couldn’t I just let it go? Herein, rests the message of this blog.

With understanding, yet also convicting me, I felt God say that I had fallen into the snare of living under the doubt of human standing instead of kneeling in the conviction of divine confidence.

Does it really matter what an uniformed outsiders judgment of me is? No, it does not. However, I let my human weakness of wanting my earthly steps to please others overpower my delight in joyfully walking with God — both forward and backward. My focus was stuck on worldly judgment when it belongs glued to heaven’s acquitting grace. Oh, if we all could only break the chains of giving credence to ones who have no meaning, power or purpose in our lives.

Truly, I believe God communicated one additional truth to me on this matter. As God’s message ended, He placed the wire cutters needed to break the chains entrapping me into my hands. His message I fully understood. I (no one else, not even God) must be the one to choose to break these chains. Yes, God can encourage and empower me; but I, alone, must decide to free myself. Praise God from whom all belssings flow, my decision is made. I am free!!!

There is no shame as we, all, at one time or another, collapse in broken pieces. We can not live with our hearts and not encounter moments when we are broken. Our hearts, bodies, minds and emotions are human. They break. What is more, it’s ok to collapse in broken pieces so long as we choose the landing pad of our Good Lord’s Hands which, ultimately, put us all back together.

It’s sad how in today’s world so much time is wasted pointing fingers and deriding those who are in pieces. Media spotlights the broken, seldom (if ever) highlighting God’s restoring the shattered and re-glueing broken hearts with faith, hope and love as His powerful adhesive. As Christians, we need to tune out journalism and open our eyes, ears and mouths to God’s restoration promises.

What matters is not that we have been broken but that we trust God to put us back together. There is never shame in falling apart. There is, however, great esteem in whole heartedly letting God rearrange our pieces and have them fall into place revealing, like a puzzle, the picture in which His grace frames our future.

“You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but You will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.” Psalm 71: 20-21 (NLT)

Many a Sunday, I arrive at church hoping a specific need is unpacked in the week’s Scripture Lesson. However, most of the time, while I’m still greatly impacted, my particular thirst is left unquenched. Used to be that I’d settle for patiently waiting for another service to hopefully receive the flowing of understanding, wisdom and direction which escaped me that morning. That was till last Sunday.

Driving home, the Holy Spirit directed my thinking deeper and wider. While a minister’s calling is to lead, God calls upon me, myself and I to follow through on my personal journey’s growth by seeking His Word (the Bible) for each and every answer in my life. I don’t have to sit and hope a pastor will read my mind and deliver God’s individual message to me. Instead, I need to stop overestimating the call of a preacher and, also, stop underestimating the Holy Spirit’s willing capability to enlighten me. In other words, through Jesus’s gift and promise of the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment, I am called to “soul”y search God’s Scripture for knowledge and not solely wait for a human minister to administer tomorrow what the Holy Spirit can lead me to today.

The Holy Spirit is God, and God is the only oasis of power capable of 24/7 quenching each and every thirsty soul wandering through the deserts of life.

Why do I not use the gift of the Holy Spirit as often as I need? Probably, in honesty, because I fail to realize how great a gift Jesus left me when He offered me the Holy Spirit. No matter what the gift given, if I receive it but fail to open the box and use it, the gift is, by my choice, an idle resource. It’s more than time for me to take the Holy Spirit out of the gift box and allow Him to elighten, direct and inspire my spiritual journey.

Yes, we are called to weekly walk to church and sit under a minister for instruction and community; but did not Christ, also, call us to daily seek the Holy Spirit for wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety and fear of the Lord? In short, if I’m going to turn myself over to using the Holy Spirit as Christ intended, then I will have to start turning the pages of my Bible more from Monday through Saturday and stop patiently waiting for my pastor, in an hour on Sunday, to turn me to the page I need — one which the Holy Spirit could show me any, and every day I ask Him to lead and enlighten me. Simply stated, the Bible holds the answers to all life’s quandries. All we have to do is open and explore its pages while beseeching the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment.

The fact, and shame, is I’ve been underutilizing the greatest source of everyday guidance and leadership given me. Now that I’m convicted of my “overlooking” mistake, no more will I live so wastefully. If, like me, you have been in the same boat, will you jump this anchored ship with me and swim into the living waters of Holy Spirit enlightenment?

Have you ever wondered why Christ died while still a young man? Both then, and now, attaining wisdom and Godly leadership is attributed to our elders, not the young or middle aged. So, why did God choose for Jesus to be crucified at a mere 33 years, when life expectancy was at least in the hundreds of years? I’m wondering if there is an overlooked message in God’s timing.

This week, in honor of my earthly Father’s birthday, I sought quiet time in a neighborhood church — not the building I worship in on Sundays, but one whose doors were open. It was a beautiful, serene oasis occupied by a dozen or so people like me — the over the hill side of 65!!! It was while thanking God for the gift of my Dad that I felt God’s whisper: “You know I chose for My Son to be crucified and accomplish your redemption when He was only 33. Nothing I do is by accident or a random occurrence. Take time and wonder why I chose 33.” Thus, I began letting my thoughts wander from automatic contentment and wonder into inquisitiveness.

My first thought zeroed in on all the white hair surrounding me. Why are so many church congregations gray from Monday through Saturday? Is it availability of time, realizing heaven is near or having been raised when Church was the cloth from which you were clothed and not what dresses you on Sunday? Probably, all three combine to compose the explanation, but none of the three added up to any indication, even hinting at, why Christ died at 33, not 133.

My pondering let go of the elderly and refocused on centering my attention to Jesus as a young man. He came not to strengthen or support the older rulers of the Church. In fact, he shook them up, rebuked them and exposed not their sacred wisdom but their personal pride and waywardness. The men Christ chose to be His disciples were not the sage of God’s people but, rather, men most unlikely to be defined as learned, let alone wise. The Son of God was not concerned with the level of their Old Testament indoctrination. Instead, He considered if they could, and would, carry His New Testament doctrine to all God’s people.

Christ chose young men to preach salvation, teach the Gospel of Grace and reach all corners of the world with His Word. Young hearts on fire for the Lord and possessing boundless energetic souls was where our Redeemer looked to pick his leadership crew. Was this a foreshadowing for us to lean on today? Are 21st Century stagnant Churches in need of the energy of young adults to shake loose the complacency of accepting placid indoctrination and inject rip roaring enthusiasm into Christ’s living doctrine?

Did Christ possibly achieve Resurrection at 33 as a precursor for us to realize young adults are called upon to lead and shepherd, not to walk passively behind the fold — or worst yet, to be the most underserved and uninvolved members of the vast majority of present day congregations? If Christ, at 33, chose to revamp and re-energize mankind’s walk with God through the vessel of young adults, maybe today’s Churches need to do the same. Quite possibly, it’s more than time for young adults to shine God’s light into our churches. However, for young adults to step out of the shadow, churches need to recruit them as Christ did His disciples, engage their participation and encourage their leadership.

Jesus, at 33, possessed the power (and God’s perfect timing) to save us all. Where are we looking right now, today, for God’s chosen leaders to get us off our high horses and plant us back on our knees? Will these people of God be donning a thinned out head of gray hair, like the Old Testament Pharisees whom Christ censored, or might they be, like Christ, younger voices speaking God’s will and way? I have no answer, but my being has been awakened to a wondering.

Today, we look and declare we have no great, wise, spiritual leaders left to correct our wayward course, heal our hearts and cleanse our souls. Does this translate we are out of Hope? I don’t believe so. Maybe we are, currently, without an Abraham, Moses or Isaiah; but could God be sending a David, Daniel or Samuel? There’s not a meat and potato answer to this question; but it does serve up good food for thought.

Leaving that little Chapel oasis, I held not one absolute answer in my head, but my soul, without question, was deeply nourished.

In anger, judgment, hurt, hate and desperation, the world is screaming. Many (even those proclaiming to be Believers) scream, “Where is God?”. Could it be that God is waiting for us to stop screaming and to start crying — yes, crying out to Him, imploring His help and mercy? Simply stated, the world is screaming at each other. We need, instead, to be crying out to God. Therein, lies the only way to God’s comfort and peace. Shredding each other into pieces neither dries the tears of all that is wrong, nor does it heal these scars and lead us in the right direction– where God’s power and grace can mend both broken hearts and weary souls.

God is the only leader capable of winning the current battles Satan is waging against us all. Satan’s presence, not God’s absence, is the root of today’s evil oozing into all 21st Century battlefields, from Ukraine to our chambers of civil government, to our cities’ streets, to our Nation’s schools, etc., etc., etc.,, It is beyond time for our Country, our Churches and all Believers to stop stretching out in blame, self-righteousness and a misplaced sense of knowing-it-all and to, instead, humbly crouch down on bended knee and beg God to save us all from the devil, as well as ourselves.

How do we do this? Basic outline is we PRAY. We, solely, adore God first and foremost. Then we implore God to step in, lead us and save our souls. The only way to put evil where it belongs is to put God where He belongs. If God is first in our lives, the devil can not destroy our lives. It is more than time for the world, America and each and every one of us to turn back to God, line up behind Him and let our Almighty Father in Heaven defeat what only He can overpower. Will you join me in bowing to God and begging Him to bring His change into our land?

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ Surely He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. … ‘Because he loves me’, says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation’.” Psalm 91: 1-6, 14-16 (NIV)

I live my life with my heart and soul; but this does not equate to my mind being silent or disengaged. Maybe, today’s blog is more mind than heart and sou; but it is, also, what I hear God calling me to speak. My words normally center in trying to impart optimistic Hope. This morning, I depart from this norm. Yet, speaking from my mind truly flows from my heart and soul caring about all God’s children.

Watching our world crumble is surreal. Political parties wear boxing gloves to out score their opponents. Negative destruction, not positive construction, weaponizes all. There is no way forward when leaders only concern is movement directed in one-upmanship. Plainly stated, human beings, in all leadership areas in our Country, are holding themselves as a powerful God instead of holding God as the source of their power.

When children of God seek direction, we are instructed to turn to God’s Word, the Bible, for instruction. Herein lies the law we are to uphold. When mankind disregards God’s commands and looks to himself for primary attainment of his wants, the needs of others are totally forgotten and forsaken. When mankind looks to God’s Bible decrees for the fulfillment of the needs of all and remembers wants are secondary, then God, the source of all power, stands ready to guard and guide His children toward life as He created it to be.

We need only reflect on Christ’s very words to see how far we currently have strayed from framing life in God’s command and not our own demands. “So in everything do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (NIV). As quoted is the entire verse. To commitment we all have probably memorized the first part of this verse. Until now, I confess the ending part of this verse (though critically defining and instructive) was overlooked by me. How about you? Truth is that we Christians, especially in today’s world, need these words on our hearts and our souls – as well as imprinted on the soles of our shoes. Sadly, we are not walking in enlightenment of these words.

If not looking to Scripture for direction, mankind is lost. Good is ridiculed, attacked and plundered. Wrong is admired, upheld and fed to our unknowing, innocent youth. Christians must go back to our Bible roots, plant these seeds in our young and make sure we allow God’s grace to water our withering Bible embedded lifeline.

Chaos, like we are entrenched in presently, is Satan’s work, not God’s. We need to ask ourselves whom we are following – Satan or God? Then we must reach our decision honestly and, most importantly, make positively sure we are in the desired fold.

Many times in the Bible God made it explicitly clear HE, not us, was the power and victory and would be the one to defeat the enemy. In the first chapter of Joshua, God clearly declares and proves HIS POWER, not man’s, defeats the enemy. God orders us to trust HIS WORD, not the voice of our own words. We are to follow HIS COMMANDS, not the directives we deem to be followed. How very far we have strayed from God’s Bible instructed course.

Additionally, God clearly instructs us to PRAISE HIM ALONE, not raise our own selves up as worthy of glory. Is there any difference in not abhorring our present day flocking to idol gods in leadership and media and, in olden times, adoring Ba’al? Once more, how very far we have strayed from God’s Bible instructed course.

In my mind, I realize human beings are currently playing God in all realms of leadership. Whether I see their cause as Biblical or not, I witness all paths of action are playing God, not praying to God to lead the course. Thus, my mind, also, wonders how any of us, Christians, can expect God to lead the way and win the battle (LIKE HE DID in Joshua Chapter One) when man, not God, is leading?

Currently, we are looking at choosing the lesser of two evils to physically lead and be in control. While there’s still time, shouldn’t we all be praying for God to send HIS CHOSEN SERVANT to answer HIS call of PHYSICALLY STANDING IN FOR GOD and FOLLOWING GOD’S COURSE?

As I earlier stated, I’m 99% hope and optimism. Thus, my heart and soul truly believe if we reset our focus and beg, through prayer and adoration, for our ONE AND ONLY GOD TO SAVE US AND LEAD US IN HIS WILL AND WAY, this miracle not could, but would, be given us. However, for this to be ours, we need to stop wearing the Bible only on our Sunday sleeves and be clothed in it through each and every day in between.

Last Sunday, I had the blessing of my youngest grandbaby spending the weekend with his Grammy. In keeping with both our routines, we enjoyed long walks amidst nature’s Spring beauty. As we were ending our stroll and approaching my subdivision’s gates, my eyes caught a little lad (I’d guess 8 or 9 years old) riding his bike inside the fence. However, it was this little tyke catching a glimpse of my precious grandson and me that composes the message of this blog.

Upon noticing a stroller and a Grammy heading for the walking gate, the boy, also, steered his bike toward the walking gate. Beating us to the gate, the youngster hopped of his two wheeler and reached for the latch. Holding the gate open, he motioned for me to push my precious cargo through the entrance.

As I passed the little helper, I couldn’t help but notice his tiny feet were clad only in white athletic socks. Right or wrong, my bet was as he scurried out the door of his home, his mommy reminded him he couldn’t ride his bike bare footed!!! Silently, I chuckled as I imagined his young mind probably thought obedience translated to donning a pair of socks!!!!

Once we were inside, my young hero closed the gate and hopped back upon his bike. Before he took off, I thanked him for all his help and told him to tell his Mommy Happy Mother’s Day from me and that she was raising a kind and helpful young man. Wearing an ear to ear grin, he replied, “Thank you, Mam. I’ll be sure to tell her what you said”!

Why do I share this happening? Simply, because in a world that shouts how wrong the youth of today are becoming, on the contrary, there is great hope in the goodness growing inside so many of our youngsters. Instead of being brain washed by what social media broadcasts, we need to focus on discovering (and highlighting) our Country’s little hearts growing in our midst and whose families have rooted caring and giving in their God created souls. These little angels are sprouting all around us. It’s time we stopped being led by negative media. We need to look a different direction, discover and applaud God’s little lambs being bred in His Christian fold.

What needed encouragement and confirmation of God centered rearing it would be, if the existence (and flourishing) of kind and giving young hearts amongst us is unveiled. Let’s applaud the existence (and worth) of small, but mighty, souls. Maybe, just maybe, this might also give support and fortitude to their Mommies and Daddies, too.