Author: bonniejeancarr

     Don’t know about you; but for me, at my hardest life’s races, only God carrying me gets me across the finish line.   Being an over the hill, ex-professional athlete, my greatest triumphs were not gliding with ease across the slippery slopes but the many times I crawled into God’s arms, and He generated my pursuit of melting a world too often crusted in ice.   At such moments, my perception of God might not have been Biblically based, but I truly felt God shaking His head while His smile transmitted understanding, acceptance and support.

     Simply stated, I did then, and do now, fully believe and proclaim God really does suit up for the game.   In other words, God loves me (and you) enough to take off His heavenly robe and don work clothes to join me, and carry me, as I attempt to merit heaven’s trophy.   For me, feeling God by my side doesn’t just bring God closer to me.   It brings me closer to God.

     Too often, children of God are taught God sits in heaven wearing a flowy, majestic robe judging us and scoring whether we merit His award.   However, maybe what the young, old and in between truly need to know, and believe, is that God, out of love, substitutes His regal robe for whatever attire we wear as we face off to life’s races.   God always meets us where we are and carries us to where He yearns and needs us to be.   God does not sit in heaven in glorious clothes while we labor below to win both earth’s nightmares and heaven’s dreams.   He joins us where we are, and He comes dressed for our challenges.  

     God, pictured in work out attire, is not meant to be disrespectful or a far out image.   Rather, it’s a close up view of our God meeting us wherever we are and fully equipped to go the distance with, and for, us.   One last vision I’d like to share.   While I, on earth, picture God in work out attire, I’d bet my bottom dollar, God sits in heaven and pictures both you and me someday wearing a celestial robe.       

     It’s true.   Many of us know God’s presence is constant.   How many times a week, day, hour or minute do we pray: “Hi, God, it’s me again!!!”   By now, any of you who have read even a smidgen of my blog know many of my numerous conversations with God are as I walk my backyard lake path.   Well, let me further inform you.   “Hi, God, it’s me again” doesn’t exclusively resonate lake side.   Praise, gratitude, need and fear permeate my entire life, not just my walks – so much so that of late I’ve been apologizing to God for barging in so frequently.   To which I sensed God saying: “Hi, God, it’s me again” comes from My children who cannot live without Me.  My heart is only heavy laden when hearing “Hello, God, do You remember me?”   I am not the one who ever forgets a single soul I created.   It is solely they who forget Me and feel, because of their absence, they must ask if I remember them.

     Upon reflection, I could not help but wonder if “Hello, God, do You remember me” are not some of the saddest words God ever hears us, humans, utter.

     God calls us, Christians, to bring EVERYTHING to Him – joy and praise for His powerful presence, sorrow and fear for our trials and tribulations, and gratitude and thanksgiving for all our given blessings.   If we heed His summon, how can our words be less than “Hi, God, it’s me again”.   Flip side, if ever we feel distant and need to ask God “do You remember me”, we should, also, wonder who moved away and failed to keep close in kinship?

     This post is not to judge or preach.   It solely wishes to awaken any soul who wonders does God remember me.   Yes, God, always and forever, remembers you; and He only seeks that you don’t forget Him.  

     “…I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.”   Isaiah 49: 15-16  (NIV)

     Her image never escapes me.   With hands, knees and hips crippled from arthritis, Carmen’s passionate voice enabled all her Bible Study Students to run the good race of chasing after God’s Word.   Year after year, I sat mesmerized and, like a sponge, absorbing every syllable of Scripture she both analyzed and prayed with her Bible Study disciples.   Many Bible quotes, and their meaning, are embedded in my memory, thanks to Carmen.   In addition, one “Carmen Adage” ranks eternal in my recall.

     “Go to the Throne before the phone” was Carmen’s universal advice for the good, the bad and, even, the mediocre days of our lives.   Think about it.   In your life, whether you are excited, confused, angry, fearful or bored, where do you instinctively go – to the Throne or to the phone???   Boils down to, do we impulsively gossip, complain and explain via the phone; or do we innately run to God to share our news, needs and nervosities???

     Many, many yesterdays have dawned and departed since I sat under Carmen’s tutelage, but her imprint remains today and will not disappear any tomorrow.   Might not see her in person till we meet again in heaven, yet the vision of Carmen’s frail body being real muscle for our Lord is a repetitive rerun from the library of my most indebted to mentors.   She taught me well to “Go to the Throne before the phone”.   May Carmen, likewise, bring you food, not only, for thought, but also, for direction.  

     Often, I’ve wondered why God created our hearts and souls as two separate life supports and not one joined vessel.   Maybe, tonight God delivered His answer.

     It’s easy, almost automatic, to consider our hearts and souls are not only cut from the same fabric, but also, identical and serving the same purpose.   However, God knew to create them separate; and this was not by accident nor without His wisdom.

     Our hearts are love.   Our souls are trust.   Life’s happenings can break our hearts.   Nothing of the world can crush or ever splinter our souls.   Our hearts can fill with fear.   Our souls are able, no matter what, to overflow with God’s courage and calmness.   Hearts sometimes skip a thump.   Souls never miss even one beat of God pulsing strength into their cores.   Hearts can become hardened and angry in life’s storms.   In trials and tribulations, souls reign in the soft gentleness of God’s arms and His peace.  

     So, why did God create our hearts and souls as two, not one?   I believe it’s so that when our hearts break, fear, flutter, stiffen and rage, they can nose dive into our souls and be healed, reborn and resurrected into renewed awareness and trust in Faith, Hope, Love and God, Himself.

   The world can bring crying pain to our hearts.   God wipes away the tears in our souls.      Thank you, JB3, for your baby heart delivering this God inspired message last night.   And, deep gratitude to you, God, for filling the womb of his Mommy’s soul with Christ’s lifesaving blood running through its veins. Forevermore, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow”…

     Faith is not a question you get an answer to by adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing.   It is an answer that carries you thorough all questions.  

     Look at the world today.   Everybody’s telling everyone what’s right, wrong and indifferent, as well as the sure way to have it all.   For many, God isn’t even considered, or consulted, as the source from where all direction flows.   Is it any wonder why Faith is almost impossible for many to even fathom, let alone root in (or for) and cling to?  

     Got a question?   Well, 21^st Century society Googles it and gets an answer.   Let’s be honest, FAITH never pops up as the answer.   Simply stated, Google was invented by man, not created by God.   Seriously, should we bank on man for smarts or deposit all our confidence in God’s wisdom.

     Life, for us Christians, is not settled by Google.   What unsettles our hearts can only find peace and “soul”ution through God’s gift of Faith.

     There is much God chooses, for our best, to leave unsolved and unanswered in our worldly life.   He leaves nothing masked in all that awaits us when we reach the eternity of sitting and listening at his feet.   Not Google, but only FAITH, will lead us to this destination.

     So many dark days shroud our present time on earth.   Do you type Google to try and find sunshine; or do you wipe away all darkness by having FAITH in God’s “SON”shine?    

     I repeat.   Faith is not a question we get an answer to by adding, subtracting, multiplying or dividing on paper, or on Google.   Faith is God’s answer that carries us through all questions.

     So many questions rise amidst life’s current chaos.   The dilemma is unwrapping where rest the answers?   Politicians, journalism and angry mobs hold only more query and division.   This week, amidst all current perplexity, my embattled earthly Dad shone illuminating wisdom which, truly and deeply, reflected an answer of response from our Heavenly Father.

     Look at the world in which we exist.   Power is the source into which society is plugged.   Everyone, and everything, is measured by how much power they control.  Current humanity believes the rain of any, and every, storm is only overcome by how much power reigns within a mortal’s hands; but what does our immortal God declare?   My earthly Dad personified the answer to this question.

     For my Dad, this New Year’s Day dawned with, not Covid, but a different life threatening hospitalization.   During his eleven Medical Center days, I was allowed to sit by his bedside and in the OR waiting room.   Dad felt peace because family (represented by me) could understand his needs and make necessary decisions.   Then things changed, and a rehab facility became his next needed destination.   Here, a different set of Covid rules governed.   Not only was Dad (due to the chaos of a worldly pandemic) denied the gift of needed family in vigil by his side; but also, his negative Covid test, at best, gained him admission to the facility, and, at worst, garnered him the privilege of entering into the prison of a two week solitary isolation.  

     As my Dad sobbed into his phone (and my heart and soul) how confused and weak he felt and that none of this would drown him, if I were able to be with him and help him understand what was happening and that all would result in restoration, I clearly saw the difference between my 94 year old Daddy and present day society.   My Daddy’s source of strength for fighting all earthly battles is deeply, and “soul”y, rooted in family security and love.   Society, today, is shallowly founded, and grounded, in worldly power as the sole weapon to slay all opposing forces.  

     I see our Heavenly Father reflected in my earthly Dad.   Our present day society mirrors the opposite.   For each, and every, child of God, are we not assured all our battles will be won if we (first, foremost, always and only) place our trust and find our way not in worldly power but in the security and love of being surrounded by our family – our Heavenly Father, our Brother Christ and our Holy Spirit?

       In spite of this war against Covid-19 and being locked outside by worldly restrictions, ours is the ability to knock on a window pane, with remote hearing device in hand, and rest in family security and love.   So, why are we letting other pandemics of present day existence keep us from finding a life of security and love in God and all His promises to us, His family?    “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.   For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 (ESV)

     We cry for those who voice their sorrows.   We cry for those who speak their injustices.   We cry for those who utter their failures.   But what about those who suffer silence, alone and muted?   Let’s peer through the window behind which these children of God are trapped.   The lens with which we view is not filtered in judgment, criticism or scorn.   Empathy and sympathy compose the glass through which we gaze.

     Hospitals and nursing homes are the framework of where these voiceless rest.   Their right to be loved, supported and surrounded by family is, correctly, deduced wrong during Covid 19’s pandemic.   However, this answer is not, by anyone, deemed fair.   Not till my own father joined the ranks of the imprisoned innocent did my rejecting heart replace my accepting head.

     Those of us outside the locked gates of being quarantined complain our luxuries are infringed upon by the pandemic.   Do we even realize while we decry our frivolous deprivation, so many are stripped their essentials – loved ones near when needed most?   I didn’t, till now.

     Intelligence confirms this travesty, first and foremost, protects both those entrapped and those living free.   Yet, wisdom sheds tears that what is right, deeply, feels so wrong.   What can we, you and I, do about this?   Directly, nothing; but indirectly much, much more.  

     Do you know someone locked inside or locked outside a window?   Pray, this inauguration week, for them, instead of cursing those who don’t mirror your philosophy.   Extend a helping hand to those divided by a window instead of striking down those who sit across the aisle.

        Dissension is the shriek of hating, manmade warriors.   Unanimity in loving hurting mankind is the song of God made peacemakers.   It is our choice.   Will shrieks or songs script our words and ways this week?

     In gratitude, a million and one times this past year I’ve proclaimed God’s hands are carrying me and mine.   And, oh so true this is!!!   However, all my faithful shouts regarding God’s hands led to silent whispers awakening me, also, to the presence and power of God’s heart. 

     In truth, God’s hands don’t carry us because they are strong.   God’s hands carry us because His HEART loves us.   Pondering this thought opened my soul to deep awareness that while God’s power is exhibited in His hands, it is born in His HEART.   Simply spoken, God doesn’t carry us because He is strong.   God carries us because He loves us.   Maybe, it’s time for the scale of my being to stop, inadvertently, calculating God in power mode and start, consciously, measuring God in love.

     Unquestionably, God is powerful enough to carry each, and all, of us (individually or collectively) through every single one of our many trials and tribulations.   All Christians know and believe this as both Biblical truth and experienced fact.   Haven’t ever met a Christian who can’t testify to a time when God’s hands were all they had to cling to and that God’s hands were, indeed, enough to carry and sustain them.   Still, I wonder if others, like me, saw God’s strength and power as the source of fuel behind God holding us in the palm of His hand, instead of God’s love as the catalyst.

     We short change God when we fail to understand all He does comes from His heart and not His brawn.   Prime example is God’s strength to let His Son die for our sins came not from His being supremely powerful but from His unsurpassable love –love for us, His sinful children.   Maybe, if we all began seeing Our Heavenly Father in the light of His HEART’s love powering the way to break through darkness, our land would begin to recognize enduring strength comes from open love-filled hearts, not the brute force of clenched fists. “Let all you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)

The radio is humming with “Jesus, Come Quickly”. I’m relief laughing. The man singing “Jesus, Come Quickly” doesn’t currently resonate with me. Forget come quickly. The past two days (make that the last couple weeks) I’ve learned there’s no need for pleading “Jesus, Come Quickly”. HE’S ALREADY HERE!!! Seriously, maybe critical life moments are confirmation that God doesn’t have to arrive. He never left.
So, why do we commonly, and falsely, think we have to implore God to drop everything and come help us? He’s already holding us in the palm of His hand, way before we even sense the world’s about ready to drop out of our feeble hands.
Second thought for today is anyone who doubts God exists, here’s proof He does. Just follow any Christian going through trials and tribulations. No, the proof is not that God always gives us, Christians, our desired end result. The proof is found in that we GET THROUGH our trials and tribulations. This would be impossible if all we have is our own human strength. Our struggles would break us, instead of increasing our faith and trust.
Only God has the power to render us endurance when we are under attack. I, and you, sure can’t do this; but what we can do is, in revival spirit, give God the credit and glory for our survival. The best way to dry our battle tears is to cry out acknowledging God as the strength under our collapsing weakness and the breath of power that carries us through all gale force winds.
The world is pretty grim right now, and I know so many of you are hurting deeply. That feeling of being all by yourself, isolated and ready to break is overwhelming; but may I share one more contemplation. If you are a Christian, you are not in a bleak, dark corner — no matter how black the night seems. You are behind a peephole. Darkness might engulf you, but there’s always a peephole through which God’s light is shining before you and leading. Darkness can not devour you, if your life is nourished by even just a peephole of God’s light and love.
Like the door peephole of our worldly houses, to see the light beyond a closed exit, you need to stand directly behind (not above, below or beside) the portal through which cloudless vision is revealed. During your dark moments, where are you standing? If you can’t see God’s peephole of light, relocate your stance and substance. Then, anchor yourself behind the soul peephole of light that penetrates all darkness. “… when I sit in darkness the Lord shall be a light unto me.” Micah 7:8 (KJV)

     Maybe, one of the greatest lessons Christ taught us is, also, one of the most overlooked.   Not until this past week did I ever recognize a message clearly scripted in Christ’s life and death.   So, in both the attempt to become wiser myself and open a window for others, please, walk with me the path of deciphering BLAME.

     To the majority of us humans, when anything undesirable, negative or disastrous happens, the knee jerking BLAME game automatically begins.   Many blame others.   Some blame themselves.   Christ blamed no one – not even all of us sinners.

     Throughout His earthly life, and especially during His passion and crucifixion, Christ never spoke of blame.   His sole purposes was to do His father’s will and save the souls of us, His sinful, earthly brothers and sisters.   Jesus always reacted in love, never angry blame.

     Christ knew no blame and gave no blame.   So, why do we?   Once again, Satan take a bow.   Blame is of Satan.   Blame takes our focus off Christ’s way of living, and dying, and puts it smack-dab on sinful man’s failures.   Eventually, Satan gets many to go beyond the human realm of responsibility and blame God for all misfortunes and failures.   Bingo, Satan then scores big time.   The devil’s strategy turns us away from living like Christ by encouraging us to blame God for the evil Satan, himself, generates.

     Blame is tearing our society apart.   Instead of constructively rectifying wrong, the stalemate of throwing blame has totally stymied our ability to, like Christ, do our Father’s will.  

     For me, personally, this has been a challenging week of hard lesson learned.   However, my heart is grateful that God used it to enlighten me.   Hard times are not overcome through blame.   They are only surmounted in trying to reflect Christ by striving to trust and glorify God’s will and God’s way.