Author: bonniejeancarr

     Please, God, when my heart is broken, help it scar not callus…  

     If you are a human being, who walks the planet Earth, and are at least old enough to be in middle school, then it’s pretty safe to bet my bottom dollar that your heart also knows the pain of being broken.   Regardless, the extent or depth of the fracture, not just physical but also emotional, mental and, even, spiritual suffering occurs.   I don’t proclaim to possess the market on heartbreak, but neither have I been spared its cutting sword throughout my life’s journey.   We live in a fallen world where Satan’s strategy is that if he can break a heart, then maybe a broken soul can follow.

     I was 15 years old, sitting in Sister Ivo’s high school Biology class, when my mind wandered on subject but off course.   Class discussion was on how the body heals through the formation of scar tissue.   At the time, my feet were trying to break in a new pair of skating boots.   My open blisters were only no longer a pain when, with time, covered with hardened skin.   The class bell rang before I had the chance to ask Sister Ivo if this covering was scar tissue.   I remember that day vividly, but years passed before the wisest teacher of all, God our Almighty Father, brought enlightenment to my wondered question.   Upon His revelation was born my prayer: please, God, when my heart is broken, help it scar not callus.

     Both scars and calluses take time to grow and soothe a break.   Herein, ends their significant similarity.   It’s their difference that really matters for a healing outcome.  

     Calluses are thick and hardened skin that covers up broken or tender skin.   Scars are more like a glue that binds cuts and brokenness back together.   Calluses are numbed, unfeeling areas whose effect is providing insensitivity to what they cover.   Scars blend into surrounding areas, soften, and often, fade away as time moves onward.   Calluses, when soaked by water, become soft and fall prey to worldly scrapes and scratches.   Scars, in the deluge of a storm, are stronger than original skin, producing outer, and inner, security for which our lives pray.  

     Our broken hearts are meant to scar not callus.   A calloused heart is hardened, insensitive and unable to feel both God’s and fellow Christians’ love keeping it alive.   However, every corner of a heart can be scarred, but its center will always keep flowing with love.        In a perfect world, hearts would not be broken.   The world in which we live is anything but perfect.   So, yes, our hearts will be broken.   However, our choice is whether to hold our broken hearts together by scars or calluses. May we all understand the difference and beg God for scars, not calluses.

     One of the problems with focusing on the world outside us is, in doing such, we fail to see the world creeping into us – into our hearts and souls.   However, if we focus, alternately, on God living in us, then we will witness God seeping into the world around us.   Herein, rests peace through the most turbulent of times – our here and now!!!   “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.”  Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)

     Maybe, I’m reading it all wrong, but wherever my eyes glance, I see good Christian people questioning not only what religious freedom might look like tomorrow, but also, if, in the not too distant future, our religious freedom will even remain.   In honesty, I can’t mentally answer this question for either you or me.   However, my spiritual reply is that maybe we are asking the wrong question. Shouldn’t we be wondering, why are we letting worldly fear creep into our faith, and why are we not letting our faith seep into our worldly fear?  

     In no way am I suggesting religious freedom is not under attack.   It, most certainly, is.   But, what I am saying is that if we are going to cower, let’s cower in awe of God’s power defending us and not crouch down in fear of evil overcoming us.   Evil advances when we fear.   Evil retreats, and loses its foothold, when we hold fast to God’s, not our, power.   Let’s stop fearing we, human beings, are losing a  battle.   Instead, let’s start confidently knowing our God, ultimately, wins all wars.   In so doing, we are not letting our guard down but, rather, raising up and praising Him whose guard we are under.

     “Be strong and courageous.   Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Deuteronomy 31:6  (NIV)

     More often than not, most of our personalities generate one unique response from our families and friends.   I admire those who catalyze a sweet smile and soft ah!!!.   I, on the other hand, prompt the “shake your head and roll your eyes” spontaneous reaction.   I admit, most of what I see and interpret is, for me, a sign from God and, for others, a sign of how strangely my eyes and head add, subtract and abstract.   Thus, the head shaking and eyes rolling reaction, in truth, fits me to a “T”.  

     Background having been sketched, journey with me through one such instance.   In my pre-pandemic days, my fitbit clocked my life.   Its timing calculated if my body was weak, strong, in gear or out of gas.   My life was in tick-tock shape if my fitbit read out 10,000 steps before 8 a.m. and 15,000 before striking High Noon.   Then came the first morning Covid 19 restrictions were the alarm to which I woke.

     Not joking, that morning dawned with the ceasing of my fitbit’s life span.   Seriously, even plugging it in for recharge shed not even a tiny bit of spark to its screen.   My automatic, and immediate, response was to google its replacement.   After finding its exact duplicate, I clicked the order button, closed my laptop and walked away.   No sooner had I done this, when I “instinctively” jetted back into my office, opened up my laptop and cancelled the transaction.   Let me, honestly and clearly, tell you I had no clue why I did that, except to truthfully say, I knew God held the answer.

     That early spring day brought both the end to my predawn fitness center workouts and the birth to my long, long, sunny walks around my backyard lake path.   In the months that have passed since that morn, changes crept into, and altered, my life that only now I fathom and understand.  

     The clock of minutes and hours used to measure if my life was on time and paced to routinely accomplish goals.   Fitbit gone, inspirational music began measuring my steps around the lake, as well as my walk in, and through, life.   Sets of God’s music began to keep time, so to speak, for my life’s pacing.   My broken fitbit had calculated my life stepping forward.   My new direction had somehow pivoted to uplifted soaring.   In fitbit time of life, I was clocked into the health of physical achievement.   Now, I was docked to the wealth of spiritual inspiration and its filling me with hope-filled, living energy.

     Finally, just yesterday, God added it all together for me and taught His most convicting fitbit lesson.   Not just I, but so very much of mankind, uses a fitbit to direct our lives.   So sadly, we look to a clock for the timing of our lives.   If we get something accomplished by a certain moment on the clock, then our lives will be on time for all our wants and needs to be fulfilled.  Our fitbit watch, in this reality, is where our faith, hope and dreams, wrongly, rest.   However, our faith, hope and dreams triumphantly awaken when we take them from the watch around our wrist and put them under God’s WATCH.    The one, and only, place for us to rest or rise is in knowing, and believing, that only under God’s watch can we become who and Whose we are created to be.  What’s more, the timing of God’s watch is over us, each and every minute we clock on earth.  

     Without a doubt, the shaking of heads and rolling of eyes for my being and seeing as I do, never unwinds my trust of God’s timing and WATCH over my life.   The hands of a clock may help orchestrate my earthly routine; but only the hands of God’s WATCH awaken me, and you, to our Heavenly Father’s timing, protection and purpose for each and every breath that fills the hours leading us to timeless eternity. 

     “The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.   The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”  Psalm 121: 5-8 (NIV)                            

     As most of you already know, many of my God conversations happen as I walk the path around my backyard lake.   Amidst North Carolina bright blue skies, I wonder, praise and listen to our Heavenly Father share His messages.   That was, until lately.   The past few nights God has chosen to shine forth His guiding bulletins in Midnight darkness, not in the clarity of our usual daylight heart to hearts.

     Not in fear or restlessness have I been awakened.   More a sense of inner sorrow and searching prodded my eyes to open.   I felt God’s peaceful presence, just like on my bright daytime walks.   With calmness, my thoughts began to stir.

     Why, God, is our world so torn apart and vile?   Why, God, has thirst for political power to destroy all opposition replaced hunger for petitioning Your strength and mite to protect and defend all Your obedient, meek and humble children?   How, God, can we know what direction and choices You are calling us to decipher?   What, God, are we, Your faithful family, to do?

     My next thought was not of question but, rather, filled with awareness.   Just like on those daylight walks, I felt God’s company in the black of night.   Lesson illuminated: God does not abandon His children in the darkness of earthly trials and tribulations.   His guiding, protective arms are evermore around us.   However, maybe to feel the security of God’s arms, mankind must stop knocking down what is outside us and start building up our God, who is inside us.  

     God, then, imparted radiance onto a Biblical direction lost amidst present day hostility.   Throughout  Scripture, we are instructed to cry out to God in all our times of trouble; and He will hear us.   Currently, though, it might accurately be said much of humanity seems to have fallen away from offering our Heavenly Father’s listening ears our cries for saving mercy.   Instead, society’s screams, directed at earthly adversaries and seeking their destruction and damnation, are breaking earth’s sound barrier.   Maybe, herein, lies great threat to man’s future – not only on earth but also for eternity.

          A final thought to ponder:  Does God call us to warring screams at each other, or to crying out to Him for the peace and mercy of His ways to lead and guide us, as we follow?   “The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open unto their cry.” Psalm 34:15 (KJV)

     Zachariah and Grammy were facetiming.   Suddenly, little man disappeared running down the hallway and into his bedroom.   Grammy knew he was chasing to find something important that he wanted her to see.   Sure enough, the nearly two year old reappeared clutching the treasure he wanted to share with her.   Grammy’s heart smiled, and her soul danced with joy, as Zachariah held out his “Beginner’s Bible”.   In toddler talk, he told Grammy all about his cherished book. 

      Truth be told, each and every bedtime, Zachariah’s Mommy and Daddy snuggle little man and read true Bible stories to him before his sleepy eyes close and wander into dreamland.  Not make believe, but promised truth, surrounds this little angel as he rests in God’s protective arms.  

     Finally, after throwing kisses back and forth, Grammy’s phone screen went dark, but Grammy’s heart and soul remained “SON” shiny!!!   Then, her thoughts turned wondering.  

     Fairy tale princes and princesses, in way too many little lives, have replaced the one and only Prince of Peace as the hero triumphing in our children’s dreams.   In no way am I saying worldly fairy tales should be banished or vanished from our children’s lives.  I am, however, asking you to wonder, and decide for yourself, if make believe princes and princesses have totally eclipsed teaching our little ones about resting in the knowledge and security of the Bible’s Prince of Peace true stories.

     Sadly, I know it’s present fantasy; but wouldn’t it be redeeming if all the Mommies, Daddies, Grammys and Grampys of this world would share as many true and faithful Bible Stories as we do fictitious and faithless fairy tales.     

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.   And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.   You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (ESV)

     Moses was 80 years old, when God called him to lead His people out of Egypt and into the Promise Land.   (Sidebar – getting older, and even old, is not an excuse to sit on our laurels and think our job is done!!  Herein, lies another future post!!)  Too often, we focus on OUT OF Egypt and should be focused on INTO the Promise Land.   I suggest that where we focus determines our attitude, which determines our altitude, which determines how close we are to God.

     How much are we pre-occupied with getting out of where we are (ie, trials and tribulations) that we lose sight of where we wish to arrive (ie, blessed, at peace, eternity in heaven)?   This is not how God created, or longs for, us to be.   ”When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”  Psalm 94:19 (ESV)

     Satan, and Satan alone, purports that we are to drown in our misery.   God proclaims, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:18 (ESV)   Question you probably are asking is so how do you see joy when your blinding tears cry pain and sorrow.   The answer roots from two other questions.   Are you staring into where you are, or gazing into where you are going?   Are you asking God to get you out of the captivity of your tribulations, or into the glory and freedom of His promises?

     Of even greater significance, what nourishes your heart?   Is your every breath beaten down by today’s sorrows, or upbeat because God breathes promising joy into your tomorrows?   “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  Hebrews 12:11 (ESV)      Next time you are stuck in the quicksand of where you are, the choice is yours.   Will you be pulled under by trying to get out of where you are?   Or, will you be uplifted by riveting your focus on where God’s promises are leading?

      Don’t think many will argue my saying 2020 is a year that echoes the adage: to be surviving is a measurement of success!!!   Be it the pandemic’s up rise, economic downfalls, social isolations, crowded protest escalations, churches closed, emotional wounds opened, smothered by quarantined family members, separated from hospitalized loved ones, well fed on conflicting opinions, starved for accurate certainty, etc., etc., etc. – the dilemma needing answering is how do we find the ability to survive???   Upon deeper thought, maybe the real question is not how do we survive; but where do we find the ability to thrive.

     In this time of overwhelming distraught, over and over, I hear Christ teach: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 (NIV)   Without a question, the answer is: to survive the world’s curses we need to thrive on God’s promises.

     Took many, many decades of wasted, stubborn focus on what gloom I somehow needed to survive, before I understood darkness always ends when the “SON” rises.   My challenge then became not to kill the darkness but, rather, to re-birth my life in the “SON” rising.   Night after night, when worried sleeplessness engulfed me, I used to toss and turn and, come dawn, not an ounce of strength was left to carry me through the day.   Once I discovered, though my body shouted “worried and can’t sleep”, my soul was softly chanting, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”, then mine was God’s strength not to survive but to thrive, even in the worst of times.

     Next time you toss and turn and worry in fury, I challenge you.   Turn your mind straying in fear to your soul praying in zeal.   Talk to God.   Just let all your fears cry out.   Ask God to fill you with His peace, will and way.   Take rest in thanking and praising God for understanding, loving, forgiving and carrying you and yours.   Allow the soothing mantra, “I need you, Father; please, lead me, Father”,  bring rest to your weary, strife burdened life.        Never forget, if God fills you, Satan cannot empty you.   Or, in this Grammy’s proverb words: to survive, you have to thrive…

Christians Are Not Brainwashed But Rather Soul Rinsed

     Have you ever wondered why Jesus taught in parables?   Why didn’t He just instruct in straight forward fact?   Could it be that Jesus’s 1^st Century chosen means of introducing Christianity clearly supports that followers of Christ are, indeed, not brainwashed?

     One who is brainwashed is not allowed to think through fundamental beliefs, deduce for himself what is true, and decide on his own to follow a chosen direction.   By teaching in parables, Christ encouraged thinking and deciphering messages and truth.  Jesus desired, and allowed, all to wonder about what He preached, ponder its meaning and choose, individually, to believe and follow, or not.  Christianity does not wash away man’s ability to reason.  All that gets scrubbed away by believing in, and following, Christ are our sins.

     Becoming a Christian is not resigning oneself to a brainwashing, imprisoned agreement.   It is freely signing oneself with the Cross of forgiveness and having our souls rinsed of sin and enriched with the promise of salvation.  

     Personally speaking, my human brain does not understand technology “very well”.   Ask my children and they will change my “very well” declaration to their “not at all” statement.   In comparison, like being unable to figure out the mechanics of how and why technology accomplishes what it does, I, also, lack the wisdom to fully understand some of the how and whys of God.   My life can’t figure out technology, but it sure does rely on it.   I’m not brainwashed into accepting and depending on technology.   Instead, I’ve independently chosen this result.   For me, choosing to be a Christian is a similar determination and merits being respected as such.

Without a doubt, I need Jesus Christ a lot more than I need a computer, smart phone, etc., etc., etc.    Nothing, naught, nada has brainwashed me into accepting complete dependence on Christ as my lifeline, regardless of my inability to explain concretely the complexities of our Triune God.   Christianity is my (and everyone’s) inner choice, not an outer coercion.   Bottom Line, and may I repeat, Our Lord in Heaven, and His ministers on earth, do not brainwash the minds of any of God’s children into joining the army of Christ’s soldiers.  However, when any, and all, freely choose to follow behind Christ, they are, with love and forgiveness, soul rinsed from their sins.   “But if we walk in the light, as He is the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.”  1John 1:7 (KJV)

     Once more, yesterday found me, pre-dawn, walking the lake path.   Ironically, I was, literally, walking backward, contemplating the dark state of Christianity, when God’s message broke through with the rising of both the sun and THE SON!!!  While both my feet and my thinking were moving in reverse, I chuckled as God flipped around my thinking.   To those of you who personally know me, yes, my feet remained rearward till I finished that segment of my routine exercise.   God was only concerned with where I was going, not how I was getting there!!!

     Glancing at the world, it’s natural to declare the foundation of Christianity is crumbling.   Examining THE WORD, it is supernatural to proclaim the foundation of Christianity will never crumble.   The foundation of Christianity is not human men, who, at times, fail in following God.   Jesus (no one else) always was, always is and always will be the foundation of Christianity.   Jesus Christ has not, does not and forever will not break, fall apart or fragment from being the imperishable, undefeatable and ONE and ONLY foundation of Christianity.  

     Unquestionably, it is a sad day when man’s fallen nature controls a human who is hyped as a tapestry whose thread leads away from sin but,in reality, has fallen into the trap of sin. The world declares this as a fundamental downfall of a human being, and it is; but it is not a crumbling of Christianity’s foundation.   I repeat, Christ, not any or all of humanity, is the foundation of Christianity.   I three-peat, Jesus Christ did not, does not and will not crumble.   

     Let’s not confuse the moral of Christianity’s story with a few 21^st Century human beings’ morals being lost.   Remember, we, Christians, are not to look to earthly leaders as a god, let alone our GOD.   Yes, they are pillars that support our worship buildings, but they are not the foundation of our CHURCH.   Pillars, on occasion, sometimes weaken and need re-enforcement or replacement.  However, Christianity is staked in Christ, not pillars.

     Christ, Christianity’s foundation, is God; and He never flails, fails or flickers.   Question is, do we see darkness as the world spotlights a few failing pillars?   Or, do we witness SONlight, unceasingly rising from within our Christian foundation???   “For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”   1Corinthians 3:11 (NIV)

     As a human being, life is consumed by many questions.   As a child of God, life is composed of ONE answer.   Our focus, on either what we know or don’t know, determines whether we fear in torment or fare in comfort through life’s earthly journey.  Does what we don’t know consume us and bury us in fear? Or, do we rise above fear, holding steadfast to what we know? – “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

     As Christians, we “know” God, the power who carries us through all storms.   As Christians, we “know” that God’s forgiveness never closes the door on us, no matter how shut out we might feel.   As Christians, we “know” God’s inner peace, even when the world outside us is exploding in turmoil.   As Christians, we “know” direction from God’s documented dogma, not man’s spontaneous shouts.

     As Christians, all that we know is a source of great strength, meant to carry us, in trust, through life’s trials and tribulations, as well as rewards and promises.   What we, Christians, know is key to keeping us from being imprisoned by what we do not know.   Dwelling on what we don’t know allows our fears and lack of worldly control to weaken us to where we perceive ourselves as helpless and hopeless.   Tragically, if ensnared by what we don’t know, we see ourselves as a reflection of reproduced flawed humanity not as a created, mirrored image of a redeemed child of God.

     My wish is that all of us let go of what we don’t know.   My prayer is that God’s grace and love enables each, and every one, of us to cling tightly to the strength of what we know.   “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.” Ephesians 6:10 (ESV)