Author: bonniejeancarr

It was pre 7:00 A.M., and I was on the last half of my daily walk. Florida humidity had already soaked my attire, and I rejoiced that I was, so to speak, on the home stretch. In the far distance, my gaze caught a little girl (I’d guess 9 years old) who was wearing a backpack and crossing the road. The first week of summer vacation dawned as the first week of summer school for her. However, she was not the focus of my attention. I was riveted on the teen (probably 15 years old) who was riding his bike and leading her path.

What teenage boy would be up riding a bike pre 7 A.M. on the first day of summer vacation? A brother, that’s who! I picked up my pace, hoping to reach the siblings before they were gone. That morn the school bus outran me. Before my legs reached their side, the little girl had boarded her transport, and the young man had ridden off from where he came. I thought maybe tomorrow, if it was meant to be, or so I prayed.

Imagine my delight when 24 hours later, I once more witnessed this same brother/sister blessing. This time they were in near distance. Turning on my after burners, I power walked to this duo’s spot. Praise God, I arrived before the school bus.

I thanked them both for being “HOPE for the FUTURE” for this old lady. Confirming they were brother and sister, I affirmed the brother for being the loving and protective arm God calls an older sibling to be. I offered him praise for answering God’s calling. He thanked me as his little sis instinctively hugged him. It was the picture of family caring and sharing.

What picture has this week left you remembering — a world torn apart by fighting differences or a big brother lovingly protecting his little sister? For me, there is no question. Praise God for family love and caring outshining all worldly hate and destruction.

Today has found me paging through volumes I wrote when much younger and far less learned from life’s failures and successes!!! To you they might not make sense. To me they are worth millions of reflections on how far God has carried me and how much he has harvested in me. I share a few now, not that you will flower anything but thought, and maybe even laughter or a tear, from their bouquet.

Faith is strange. No matter how much you believe in your heart, there comes a time when someone else’s heart must believe in you. 4/72

At times a sheared thread of faith is saved only by knowing that you can look to tomorrow before it becomes today; and total despair is avoided only by being too afraid not to hope in tomorrow before it becomes today. 6/30/70

Take a bow, sir. Your guidance is helping this jester come to life again. You’re right. It doesn’t take a perfect back to “laugh” or “climb a mountain”. Above all, I’ve decided tomorrow’s greatest hope could flow from yesterday’s despair; and today is the bridge I alone must construct to join my past and future. 1/75

I want to live; but what is life? I want what’s right; but how do I know? That’s just it. What I really want is to know; but I’ve so much first to find. I can’t be sure. I’m caught in a whirlpool going round and round and round, seeing many things but unsure exactly what are the concrete ones to which I’m meant to grasp. I want to face reality; but I can’t find it. I can see many hazy visions of it in different forms. Which is the one for me? Maybe, I’m searching too hard. Maybe, I can’t find it but must let it find me. I’m capable of letting different things happen in my life. This is what scares me. How do I know I’ll let the right ones happen? For so long I’ve been trying to mechanically draw my life and not let it be done by free and heavenly guided sketching. Now, having sensed this to be wrong, where am I meant to belong? Am I lost? Or am I just beginning to be found? 6/83

These are glimpses into my past and yet maybe, also, reflections of someone else’s present. So let it be spoken that no matter where any of us are today, God’s promise of tomorrow is all we need to grow and flower into all our hopes and dreams. Thank you God for throughout my many years granting me this very bouquet.

When I was but a child, my Mother taught me, not only, many of life’s lessons, but also, God’s greatest lessons. My Mom, many times, unfolded the pages of the Bible not by opening up God’s Book but through unlocking God’s Word through unzipping my soul to the symbolism within worldly chores. One such instance was the day my Mother decided I was ready for the lesson of polishing our family, heirloom silver.

Like any preteen, I was not excited to partake of this task. In fact, I was blatantly bummed. Personally, I didn’t care if tea was served from a tarnished or a shiny pot. I didn’t like tea, so why should I be concerned over what its serving kettle looked like. My Mom was about to change both my attitude and my lack of wisdom.

Mom’s tutorial began by declaring my eyes saw teapot, but my insight needed to view any, and all, treasures of life as a gift from God. God would entrust many treasures to my life — just as my ancestors had passed on the inheritance of this teapot. My Mother continued her nurturing by clarifying time can tarnish, not only, worldly treasures, but also, the divine ones which God hands down to His family of believers. Neither our material nor spiritual blessings should ever remain dulled by the mire of grime. We are called to the task of accepting the challenge (and our ability) to restore glorious shine to our tarnished possessions — especially the dreams of our human hearts and divine souls.

Illustrating this point, my Mom placed a polishing cloth in my hands. Guiding my fingers, she showed me how to, over and over again, rub hard the tarnished surfaces in order to bring back deep-down glow. Her words re-enforced this process was not magical but the result of hard work and not stopping until outer tarnish was worn off and revitalized inner luster was illuminated.

My wise Mother proceeded to bring home the most important (yet most overlooked) lesson within her polishing cloth. How often we think it takes wealth, rare talent or lottery-like luck to accomplish a goal. On the contrary, what it takes is desire, determination, durability and deliberate deeds.

Years and years have passed, but my Mother’s words seem like today’s proclamation. Never think nor believe you are not good enough to shine or bring your dreams to full illumination. The power of a polishing cloth is not that its material is magical but that its fiber is composed of the power of the miraculous. A polishing cloth is solely nothing more, nor nothing less, than a rag that believes and trusts its soul.

At “3:00 A.M. this morning, I woke to these words: For God to be “HERE” guiding me, I have to earnestly “HEAR” Him. Thought crossed my mind that maybe God was composing my weekly blog message. Before dozing back off, I jotted down the sentence in my phone’s reminders app. Post Church service and on my daily walk, I wondered if, indeed, the sentence should be my topic. Not convinced, I tabled my decision till I finished pool exercising, which followed my walk. Once back in dry clothes, I reached for my phone and notebook.

First thing I did was pull up my reminders app. The sentence was gone. For certain, it was there at 3:00 A.M.. Now, it was not. Immediately, I sensed God saying this was not a mistake but His needing to lead since I was not convinced to follow. In truth, there was no human rhyme nor reason to what I did next. I will not doubt that it was fully Divine direction. I opened my emails. Blaring me in the face was the reality that between 5:36 A.M. and 5:38 A.M. this morning, eleven emails flooded my box. Each and every one solely contained the soul message I’d woken up to at 3:00 A.M.. For God to be “HERE” guiding me, I have to earnestly “HEAR” Him.

The sentence’s significance I was pondering, God was unquestionably declaring. Not only did I feel compelled to listen, I felt directly discipled to share. As I take up my pencil to do so, I pray God does the talking and I’m merely His scribe cause to be forthcoming, I obviously haven’t yet prayed over this sentence and reaped its harvest. Thus, the words now jotted down are His, not His servant’s.

My daughter, I commend that for months you have focused on the present of My presence being “HERE” with you. However, you are trapped in “HERE” and forgetting My seeds of wisdom and direction are rooted in “HEAR”. Be it My personal voice or Scripture, “HERE” results in unbudging proximity, and “HEAR” evolves into moving in togetherness. In your life’s journey, getting from “HERE” to there flowers not from “HERE” but from learning to “HEAR” Me, which leads to release of fear, direction becoming clear and never doubting I am near.

Your heart has mastered “HERE”. Now trust your soul to “HEAR”. “HEAR” does not belong on a reminder app. Its essence needs never to be forgotten. Over and over again, “HEAR” should flood the messages of your life. And by the way, those weren’t emails. They were ME mails!!!

One more thing to “HEAR”, My daughter. You are not lost. You are beginning to be found.

It’s one thing to pray for wisdom. It’s a completely different thing to ask God to open your eyes (and heart) to seeing, accepting and following the wisdom He shares. Since my life has God as its core, my navigation system’s compass is glued to God’s guidance. The result is honest knowledge of both my limitations and God’s abundant predominance — i.e.., my need to back off so God can move all forward.

The hard pill for me to swallow was letting God cure me of my trying to play doctor where only His cure can make well. In short, God recently handed me a sharp, yet very blunt, prescription to take daily till my urge to meddle was completely suppressed!!! My daily dose of God’s medicine worked. God (from inside out, from heart and soul to mouth) brought me to understand that sometimes my worldly doctor bag can’t change anything but could destroy everything. So instead of trying to be a miracle doc, I sure better concentrate on not being the medical quack who ends up destroying everything -and possibly everyone.

The Prayer of Serenity, not my exuberant desire to get in and fix the broken, is what needs to replace my bag of “personal” tricks. “God grant me to serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”. (Reinhold Niebuhr)

I’ve learned praying for wisdom is strength not weakness; and more wisdom often translates into stepping back so God can step forward and shutting up so God can prevent shutdowns. Most important of all, before I spurt out all my answers, I better ask myself one question. Can I change anything or destroy everything? Finally, I need to get myself behind God’s lead and let Him (not my bag of worldly fix it tricks) mend and heal the broken.

At best, my ability is only to help nurse along others according to God’s plan. God alone is the Almighty Healing Physician. Gladly, I now release myself from randomly giving orders to others and, gratefully, submit myself to taking orders God directly sends my way. “Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding”. Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)

My mother’s heart jumps for joy. This morn, my two newest grandbabies were dedicated in their respective churches. On top of this, my any moment to arrive eighth grandchild is keeping us all in baby ecstasy. Added blessing is my grown children and their better halves are the epitome of Christian mommies and daddies. This ‘ol mom/grammy heart is grateful beyond words on this Mother’s Day. However, my soul is also heavily burdened. Some of my fellow moms/grammies are immersed in tears of sorrow this day. My heart cries with, and for, them.

“R”, “J” and “L” are inspiration to me. They are the absolute core of motherhood as God created it to be. Long before I was blessed with my own children, I witnessed, through their hearts and souls, the epitome of mother love. Yet today their mother hearts are filled with tears, loneliness and self-declared failure and loss. The celebrations of this twenty-four hours ring empty for them. Never have I felt less able to change wrong than when I measure my inability to bring a “Happy Mother’s Day” to their worthy hearts.

For so many there is a deep sadness this Mother’s Day. Their hearts have loved. Their knees have bent. Their souls have prayed; but their sons and daughters have strayed — not because of their mother lack but because of Satan’s knack.

Today is a day of celebration. May each and every joy filled mother rejoice and be honored for the fruits of her labor. However, may each and every one of us proud mommas, also, be filled with God’s encouragement and compassion to hug a mother who has given her all but whose child remains lost. Don’t let the sun go down on Mother’s Day hallelujahs before uplifting the SON of comfort to fellow Mothers whose hearts most need to know they are loved and appreciated. May we all mirror the message that a mother’s success is not solely the reflection of a child’s triumphs but “soul”y the genuflection of a mother’s being to instill her Lord and Savior in both her child’s victories and defeats. This Mother’s Day may we all genuinely honor the downtrodden and discouraged moms who most need, and deserve, to be hugged in love and appreciation.

My journey, lately, seems stalled. When questioning the Lord about this less than desirable predicament, I sensed God reply: “Be grateful and alert that I have you stalled. Satan wants you trapped.” Now, these words got me thinking!!!

Much of my pondering occurs while I walk. Thus, I laced up my athletic shoes and set out to seek not 10,000 steps but, rather, one stride of enlightenment. God stalls. Satan traps. Conversation with the Lord began.

OK, God, let’s sift deeper into the symbolism of the words you chose to share with me. Please, give me wisdom that I lack and acceptance that my mitts are not eagerly holding. God did just this.

There are times in life, when for our inner growth God has to outwardly stall us. This is not to stop us or end our journey but to rest us, revive us, newly direct our course and, most importantly, re-direct our purpose and deepen our dependence on waiting for Him to lead. At times, to do this, God sort of places us in SLOWsand. The significance is not that we are unable to move in any direction. It is that we are being prepared for the direction in which we are meant to journey. Maybe it is as simple as we need to be rested to withstand the journey, or maybe as complicated as needing to realize our strength is never enough; but God’s abundantly suffices. Possibly, we need to fathom that our timing is flawed, but God’s is perfect; or that our purpose is not our sole druthers but rather God’s soul calling. To bring this all about, God often places us in SLOWsand. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him.” (Psalm 62:5)

In total contrast to God’s SLOWsand, Satan’s greatest trap is QUICKsand. QUICKsand swallows up its victims, rendering them incapable of fighting the good fight or escaping the bad fight. Nothing less than, or short of, complete destruction and suffocation of one’s inner soul is Lucifer’s QUICKsand. God uses SLOWsand as an antidote from fast paced, fleeting, worldly lifestyle in order to grow us into allowing Him to determine our steps. Satan relies on QUICKsand as a venom to destroy our faith and ability to sit at God’s feet and wait for Him to lead our course.

My walk now completed, I thanked God, not only, for all the hops, skips and jumps he interjects into my life, but also, for my current present of SLOWsand. My gratitude was followed by the imploration that God forever delivers me from Satan’s QUICKsand. Amen.

My mechanical inclination is off the chart — the bottom of the chart, that is!!! Thus, recently when a mentor titled my file “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL”, I was elated and knew God had led me to His choice for help in navigating this next leg of my life’s journey. That’s the good news!!! The bad news is, in honesty, I hadn’t a clue what the wheel was or is!!! To God’s credit, He is teaching me both what it was and is; but most importantly, what the wheel will be forever more. However, to start my understanding it took God’s reprimand: “My daughter, you need to learn the DIFFERENCE between the wheel and the tire. Herein is MY roadmap to lead and deliver you to My will, My way and My purpose for your journey’s next chapter.”.

The DIFFERENCE between the wheel and the tire — I hadn’t a clue!!! God reminded me that sometimes admitting you don’t know or understand is the first step in gaining wisdom. Thus, I invited the Lord to enlighten me. As always, He threw His master switch, and the lightbulb went on for me.

In declaring “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL”, I was expecting Christ to cover the distance from where I was to where I needed to get and, also, to straight on deliver me to the perfect destination. What I was totally overlooking is “wheel” is short for “STEERING” wheel, and steering is not a straight ruler drawn line. Steering is a circular/up and down, forward/reverse, zig/zag, over/under, right/left, etc., journey. On the contrary, a tire’s function is to simply get you where you are going and make the delivery smooth. Tires just go where they are directed. They have no part in directing.

When asking Jesus to take the wheel, I was mistakenly expecting a straightforward, shock absorbing “tire” delivery to a perfect destination. In truth, “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL” implores Christ to steer me through the journey’s twists and turns, while navigating my way over potholes, bumps, slippery slopes and uphill climbs.

My perspective now in alignment, my journey has become refueled with newfound understanding and wisdom. When “JESUS TAKES THE WHEEL”, it is not a guarantee of a straight shot, smooth and shock absorbed journey from point A to point B. However, it is JESUS’s promise that He will STEER me through all detours, storms and every other obstacle obscuring the path to all my God given destinations. Don’t know about you, but as for me, my car’s XM radio speakers are loudly singing “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL”. Maybe, I can’t pinpoint my destination arrival time, and that’s o.k. cause it’s no longer on my radar. For you see, God’s shown me I’ll always be where I need to be and in perfect timing when “JESUS TAKES THE WHEEL”.

His little tyke heart overflowed with Easter love. His piggybank was empty. The Easter bunny gives holiday candy, but this child of God’s soul was seeking the true gift of HOLYDAY Easter.

With no money in his pockets, this tiny lad went shopping — not for a gift from him but for Christ’s gift to him and his family. Sunday School was the storehouse he visited to secure Easter’s most treasured gift. The devoted teachers there had promised to share Easter meaning come Sunday gathering; and, yes, the children could take home and share hands and hearts full of this blessing.

Into his classroom, the loving rascal ran. Into a vacant chair at the worktable, he plopped. With eager anticipation, he was more than ready to lay hold of the “bestest” of Easter gifts to share with his family.

Bright colored paint, sparkly stickers and a basket full of eggs adorned the center of the table. With wide open eyes, the circle of little ones was filled with glee as they awaited story time followed by craft creation, symbolizing the meaning of the day’s Church message.

Tiny ears listened as the story of the Resurrection of Jesus was shared. The Gates of Heaven opened as Jesus rose from the now empty tomb. All sins were forgiven because Jesus temporarily died so we could eternally live. The tradition of Easter eggs symbolizes the empty tomb from which Jesus emerged in resurrected life on Easter Sunday — just as a baby chick cracks open and pops out of an egg.

Bible story having been relayed, each child was then charged with choosing an egg from the basket and decorating it with Easter glory. While the other children’s hands grabbed for an egg and bright sparkling embellishments, our story’s highlighted little boy sat back and pondered deeply. For him, the words just heard were not an opening for fancy, ornamental covering but rather salvation squeezing through cracks of worldly death and reaching life that death cannot hinder nor hold.

By the time our little soul was ready to secure his egg, only one remained. It had not been chosen by any other little person. Why? To the eyes of most, it was because it was not perfect. Its shell was marred and splintered. However, in the sight of this wise child of God, the imperfect egg was the blessing of the perfect Easter gift. While the other moppets painted and sparkled up their eggs, the miniature old soul admired the core authenticity of his newfound treasure. It proclaimed the true story of Easter Resurrection!

Adult supervision inquired why this little tyke chose not to glamourize his egg. The preschooler responded in scholar knowledge: Jesus took my dark sin and cleaned it all away. Because God loves and forgives me, my soul shines white, not stained with all my wrongs. Jesus broke the shell of death and came out to love and lead me. My egg’s cracks are the victory scars of Jesus breaking sin. Jesus wants me to remember what he did for me out of His love. Isn’t it forgetting to color over cracks and disguise them, so they worldly disappear? Easter’s make-believe caricature, a material bunny, brightly paints and hides eggs. The true character of Easter, Jesus, reveals redemption and washes all as white as snow. My egg is the gift of Easter, JESUS!!

“I hear the Saviour say thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all. Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow.” ((Jesus Paid It All – Passion Lyrics)

This Palm Sunday morn, I went to the earliest service I could find where I knew the Passion would be read. I just needed Scripture to penetrate my being.

My life since childhood has been under “can’t be missed or dismissed signs” from God that have always led to His direction and purpose for my life as His child. My boldness to openly declare God is not courage but, rather, the reality He shows me in seemingly unbelievable manifestations. As God guides my course, not all is immediately clear. I merely know HE IS in the fog, and the fog will clear in HIS will, way and timing.

Too many times to count, the headline of my life’s journey is best described by “you can’t make this stuff up”. Once more, the present bears this label. As I ponder what is the present, I am clearly feeling the word “present” is not only solely defined as “current” but, more importantly, souly defined as “gift”.

My head longs to pinpoint the bottom line of understanding, but my heart and soul comprehend that wisdom comes from the top of God’s planning, not the bottom of man’s figuring. As I begin a week commemorating God’s greatest miracle for all of humanity (as well as one given personally to me 38 years ago), I’m not buckling my seatbelt but, rather, releasing all fear and doubt that might prevent God from guiding, guarding and blessing HIS Hand on, and in, my life.

Possibly, you might, also, find your journey in similar fogged in atmosphere as mine. If so, I honestly know and admit that my personal words are of no avail. However, God’s Word never fails nor leaves us undirected. To each and all, who currently are surrounded in fog and seeking to lift the mist, may your sight be laser beamed on Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths”.